Disney’s new Congress promises more fun and music, with new laws passed only after a sing-along and a costume contest.…
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Eggs are cheaper than ever, thanks to Trump’s “Eggonomics Miracle.” The only catch? Dozens of Americans are now getting an extra helping of salmonella with their scrambled eggs.…
A nationwide showdown erupted after TSA agents refused to accept Costco cards as legal ID, sending confused Gold Star members into a tailspin and prompting calls for a “Kirkland Lane” at security.…
Federal agents accidentally create the hottest fashion event of the season during an immigration raid, leaving the city abuzz about “deportation chic” and this year’s flashiest new accessories.…
Aaron Rodgers reinvents the Terrible Towel, turning Pittsburgh’s playoff run into a spiritual journey involving chakra colors, sage rituals, and towel-based prophecy.…
Elon Musk and Bessent turned the West Wing into a contact sport, with Steve Bannon on live commentary and Trump debating the installation of an octagon for future government disagreements.…
A Minnesota high school’s softball title was decided by the X comments section, not the scoreboard. Simone Biles and Riley Gaines battled online while the field sat quiet.…
The US economy’s latest jobs report looks great, until you realize most new hires are artificial intelligence. As Roombas unionize and LinkedIn fills up with suspiciously tidy bots, America wonders—should we start learning machine code, or just buy stock in toasters?…
Palmer Lake, Colorado is torn apart by an all-out “Gas Station Civil War” over the arrival of a Buc-ee’s megastore, forcing the mayor to resign and residents to pick sides between beaver nuggets and local groceries.…
National Donut Day delivers joy, chaos, and at least one official warning from Secretary of Health and Human Services RFK Jr., who suggests donuts be classified as “experimental pastries” until more studies are done on sprinkles.…
Movie nights and state fairs go off the rails as the Trump–Musk feud sparks an unprecedented popcorn shortage, leaving Americans to improvise with whatever sad snacks they can find.…
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy offers to mediate peace talks between President Trump and Elon Musk, hoping juice boxes and playground rules can keep both in check for more than ten minutes.…
Our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost.
Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper the media. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle.
-Thomas Jefferson