Fakhir Al-Nashif turned protest demand into flaming profit by selling high-quality American flags—exclusively to those eager to burn them.…
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Trump dropped bombs on Iran’s nuclear sites, then took to Truth Social to tell everyone “NOW IS THE TIME FOR PEACE.” The U.S. just conquered nuance—with ordinance.…
ICE agents in riot gear raided a tamale vendor in Los Angeles, citing threats to national flavor integrity. Homeland Security called it “unauthorized street cuisine,” critics called it a hunger for power.…
After previously saying Iran wasn’t building nuclear weapons, Tulsi Gabbard now says they could be just weeks away. What changed? Apparently Trump’s opinion, and maybe the moon cycle.…
After billions of login credentials leaked online, the U.S. government unveiled its most advanced security strategy to date: telling Americans to just add a “4” to the end of their already bad passwords.…
The Melania MEME Coin terms and conditions are a masterpiece of patriotic legalese that warns users the coin does nothing, fixes nothing, and might crash their browser — but God bless America anyway.…
A Brooklyn minimalist has officially downsized his life to nothing but a yoga mat, oat milk, and relentless inner dread. Friends say he’s “aesthetic but hard to dine with.”…
Rep. Nancy Mace suspects Rep. Sara Jacobs of using supernatural means to maintain flawless cheekbones. A formal contour audit may follow.…
Indiana’s new textbooks remove complex historical facts in favor of inspirational slogans and full-page eagles and American Flags.…
President Trump says Americans need fewer holidays as he golfs four days a week and blames bunker sand for national decline.…
President Trump signals possible military action but delays final decision until after a few rallies, some tacos, and a weekend of golf diplomacy with Kid Rock.…
The Buss family sold the Lakers not for money, but for peace — specifically from Netflix producers trying to script their next emotional arc.…
Our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost.
Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper the media. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle.
-Thomas Jefferson