NEED TO KNOW
- New health study questions the long-held “8 glasses a day” Hydration rule.
- Researchers say the main result of high water intake is “increased bathroom travel time.”
- Experts now recommend people “just drink when you’re thirsty like a normal person.”
Hydration or Hobby?
A new report from the National Institute of Reasonable Health has put the internet on edge after concluding that drinking eight glasses of water a day “mainly just forces you to constantly locate the nearest restroom.” Lead researcher Dr. Karen Phelps said the popular guideline appears to cause “no noticeable benefit” beyond teaching adults how to map out rest stops like long-haul truckers.
“For years, we believed this was critical to good health,” Phelps said. “However, our data shows most people who follow the rule spend 40% of their day looking for a restroom, waiting in line at one, or politely pretending they don’t need one during meetings.”
Side Effects Include Feeling Like a Human Brita Filter
The study tracked 600 adults over six months. While water intake did increase, so did the average number of work interruptions and the overall volume of nervous leg shaking. One participant reported that their Fitbit classified “bathroom speed-walking” as daily cardio.
Additionally, 57% admitted they now carry water bottles everywhere but only drink from them because they “feel guilty not finishing it.” 12% reportedly “bonded deeply” with gas station attendants while searching for acceptable bathrooms during long drives.
Doctors Recommend a Radically Simple Strategy
According to Phelps, the best approach is more intuitive: “Just drink some water when you’re thirsty. Then stop.” She paused, then added, “It’s not revolutionary, but it does make life less exhausting.” The team is now launching a follow-up study titled *“Are Smoothies Just Wet Salads?”*
Turns out, most of us aren’t dehydrated, we’re just bored.
Dr. Karen Phelps, National Institute of Reasonable Health
