Greg Thompson watched exactly one YouTube video on health and wellness and is now, according to friends and family, “completely unbearable” at dinner parties. The video, titled “The Truth About What You’re Really Eating”, has transformed Greg from a laid-back guest into a self-proclaimed expert on nutrition, eager to share his newfound knowledge with anyone unfortunate enough to sit near him.
The “Health Expert” Emerges
Greg’s friends say they noticed a change after he watched the 10-minute video a few weeks ago. At first, it was subtle—swapping out a few meals here and there, casually mentioning antioxidants. But at the latest dinner party, things took a turn.
“I had just poured myself a glass of wine when Greg launched into a 15-minute lecture about how alcohol is ‘poison for your liver,’” said friend Steve, clearly still scarred from the experience. “I came here to relax, not to be guilted into a detox cleanse.”
According to reports, Greg’s rants ranged from the dangers of gluten (which he used to love) to how everyone should switch to a 100% organic, free-range, gluten-free, dairy-free, joy-free diet.
“I don’t even know what quinoa is,” said one dinner guest, “but I definitely don’t want to hear about it for the next half hour.”
Dinner Ruined by “The Truth About Food”
It wasn’t just the lecture-style speeches that grated on Greg’s friends. Apparently, the new health guru has also adopted a rather… interesting relationship with food.
“He brought his own Tupperware of organic, sprouted lentils to the party,” one guest recalled. “I thought it was a joke at first. But no, he spent the entire meal telling us why our food was slowly killing us.”
For those attempting to enjoy their not-so-organic meals, the experience was less than appetizing. “Look, I was just trying to enjoy a burger,” one guest said, rolling their eyes. “But every bite came with a side of guilt thanks to Greg’s commentary on processed meats and how I was basically signing up for a lifetime of misery.”
Friends and Family in Despair
While Greg insists that he’s just trying to help, his friends and family aren’t quite as enthusiastic about his transformation.
“He used to be fun,” said his sister, Sarah. “Now I can’t even offer him a slice of pizza without getting a lecture on the dangers of dairy and gluten. I’m afraid to invite him to family gatherings at this point.”
Even his coworkers have noticed the change. “He’s been bringing up intermittent fasting during every lunch break,” said a colleague. “It’s like, ‘Dude, we’re just trying to eat sandwiches here, not have an existential crisis over carbs.’”
Greg’s Response: “I’m Just Trying to Help”
For his part, Greg seems unfazed by the backlash. “Look, I just care about what people are putting into their bodies,” he said, with a self-satisfied grin. “I’ve done so much research—you wouldn’t believe the stuff I’ve learned. People deserve to know the truth, even if it makes them uncomfortable.”
According to Greg, his YouTube video marathon has opened his eyes to the dangers lurking in everyday meals, and he won’t stop until everyone around him is as enlightened—or as annoyed—as he is.
“I’ll never go back to the way I used to eat,” Greg said. “Once you see the light, you can’t unsee it.”
The Future of Dinner Parties: “Just Don’t Invite Greg”
With his friends and family at their wits’ end, many have taken to avoiding inviting Greg to future events. “We love him, but we’re not ready for another lecture on how tap water is basically poison,” one friend confessed.
As for Greg, he remains confident that his mission to educate will one day be appreciated. “They’ll thank me eventually,” he said, sipping from a mason jar of kale juice. “Once they realize I was right all along.”
Until then, it seems the safest strategy for dinner parties is simple: don’t invite Greg.
Key Takeaways
- After watching a single YouTube video on health, Greg Thompson has become insufferable at dinner parties, lecturing guests on everything from processed meats to gluten.
- His friends and family have started avoiding inviting him to gatherings, hoping to dodge another health-focused tirade.
- Despite the backlash, Greg insists he’s just trying to “enlighten” people about what they’re eating.
