NEED TO KNOW
- UC Davis researchers found hazardous levels of toxic metals in Disposable vapes, including lead, nickel, and antimony.
- One vape tested had lead levels equivalent to smoking 19 packs of cigarettes.
- Manufacturers blamed “counterfeits,” “copyright issues,” and possibly ghosts.
- Experts recommend you stop huffing glorified USB sticks that taste like battery acid and Skittles.
Heavy Metal, But Worse
According to a new study, disposable vapes may not just ruin your lungs — they might also melt your insides like a Hot Pocket in a nuclear reactor. UC Davis researchers discovered that popular vape brands such as ELF Bar, Flum Pebble, and Esco are packed with cancer-causing heavy metals. Specifically, nickel, antimony, and enough lead to solder the Titanic back together.
The findings were so alarming that scientists initially thought their equipment was broken. But no, it turns out people are actually paying $18.99 plus tax to inhale the equivalent of a melted penny dipped in Red Bull and shame.
Lead With Flavor
One brand contained lead levels equal to smoking 19 packs of cigarettes — and that’s just in a single device. Researchers found that some vapes were built with leaded copper alloys, meaning the toxins were leaching into the liquid before anyone even took a puff. It’s the gift that keeps on giving, even when it’s just sitting on your nightstand next to your anxiety meds.
Manufacturers Respond: “That’s Not Even Ours”
When asked for comment, ELF Bar claimed the tested devices were likely counterfeits, knockoffs, or “some weird thing a teen made in wood shop.” The company is currently banned from U.S. sales, which apparently has not slowed down the flow of fruity carcinogens to vape shops nationwide.
Public Health Officials Recommend Trying Literally Anything Else
Experts say these results are particularly dangerous for teens and young adults, many of whom are now walking around like tiny fog machines with Bluetooth. The CDC noted a spike in vape use from 4.5% to 6.5% among adults, likely because nothing screams rebellion like slowly poisoning yourself with something called “Blue Razz Glacier Chill.”
Modern Alchemy: Turning Mango Mist Into Mesothelioma
Despite the findings, demand remains high. One UC Davis researcher said it best: “This is either the worst health crisis of the decade, or the most successful lead distribution campaign since Flint.”
