Storm preparation
- Storm season is here. Are you ready, or are you still looking for batteries in the junk drawer?
- From hurricanes to tornados, being unprepared means relying on your neighbor with the weather radio and eight cats.
- This guide delivers the best emergency essentials.
- Make your storm prep plan now, don’t wait until the power’s out and you’re reading this on your cell phone in the dark with no power.
Don’t Be the Headline: How to Prepare for Storm Season
Storm season isn’t just for storm chasers and TV meteorologists. Hurricanes and tornados don’t care about your weekend plans or your fantasy football draft. The experts say “get ready early” and who are we to argue with the National Hurricane Center, the Red Cross, and that one guy in your neighborhood group who has a backup generator and a bunker?
Here at The Folly Times, we believe prepping for severe weather should come with a side of laughter. Because when the wind is howling, nothing soothes the soul like knowing you’re ready (or at least ready-ish). Here’s our hand-picked, laugh-out-loud guide to storm preparedness the essentials you need, and the punchlines you deserve.
Top 10 Must-Have Emergency Supplies
Hand Crank Emergency Radio
Because your weather app is only as reliable as your WiFi—and that’s now floating past your house. When all else fails, crank up the radio and get alerts the old-fashioned way.
Find at WalmartPortable Power Solar Generator + Solar Panel
When the power lines are down but the sun is still working overtime, the Jackery is your VIP pass to charging civilization. Power your phone, fan, fridge, or that lava lamp you can’t let go of. It’s like having your own little grid, minus the utility bill and those “power’s out” group texts from your neighbors.
Find at Best BuyReliance 7-Gallon Aqua-Tainer
For when your tap is out and your neighbor’s pool is looking tempting. Store enough water to keep your crew hydrated, bathed, and still able to make their precious morning coffee.
Find at WalmartDual Power LED Rechargeable Flashlight
Guaranteed to be brighter than your neighbor’s generator idea. Great for blackouts, late-night supply hunts, or making shadow puppets to distract the kids from the howling wind and lack of internet.
Find at Home DepotBe Smart Get Prepared Outdoor First Aid
Because storms always wait until you’re barefoot to send a Lego your way. Everything you need for minor injuries, except maybe emotional support after power’s been out for 36+ hours.
Find at WalmartStainless Steel Portable Can Opener
When the power’s out, it’s time to eat like a pioneer. This can opener never runs out of batteries and will open every weird can in your emergency stash, even the beans from 2017.
Find at WalmartFlushable Wipes
Showers? Overrated. When water’s scarce, these wipes keep you clean enough for polite society, or at least your pets, who are judging you from the bathtub.
Find at WalmartAnker Power Bank
Charge your phone so you can keep doomscrolling, text family, and look up “how to open canned ravioli with a spoon.” Fits in your go-bag, your glove box, or your new trash bag poncho.
Find at Best BuySafety Whistle
If yelling for help worked, you wouldn’t need this. Blow the whistle for rescue, attention, or to remind your family you exist during “no electronics” storm time.
Find at WalmartLeatherman Wingman Multi-Tool
It’s a toolbox in your pocket: open cans, cut rope, fix minor damage, or just pretend you’re starring in your own survival show until the lights come back on.
Find at Cabela’sPro Tips and Folly-Approved Storm Wisdom
Don’t forget to fill your storm kit with cash (“real” money because the WiFi always dies right before you Venmo someone for snacks), important documents, and enough snacks to bribe every member of your household into silence. Set up weather alerts on your phone, download the Red Cross app, and finally learn where your evacuation zone is before your neighbor with the bunker rubs it in.
Bonus tip: Review your insurance now. You don’t want to learn about “exclusions” from your agent while standing knee-deep in water, eating cold beans in the dark.
Folly’s Final Forecast: Survive, Laugh, Repeat
Storm season doesn’t care if you’re ready, but you will. With these emergency essentials, you’ll ride out the next hurricane or tornado with more confidence, less panic, and just enough laughter to annoy Mother Nature herself.
So prep now, laugh later, and remember: the best time to buy batteries was yesterday. The second best time is now.
