Whether You’re Beach-Bound or Hiding Indoors With the AC on Blast
From spontaneous pool parties to awkward backyard hangouts where you forget everyone’s kids’ names, summer requires a different kind of survival kit. You need tools to stay cool, hydrated, and comfortably smug while pretending you planned any of this.
Oversized Straw Hat That Screams “I’m Done”
Shade your face and your social energy. Perfect for poolside lounging, ignoring small talk, or entering your rich widow era.
Find at AnthropologieCooler Backpack That Says “Yes, I Brought the Drinks”
Holds beverages, sandwiches, and your last shred of patience. Keeps things cold while you pretend you’re fine in 94-degree weather.
Find at REIBug Zapper Racket (a.k.a. Fly Swatter of Justice)
Swat, zap, and reclaim your porch like the electric warrior you are. Bonus: makes a satisfying sound every time you avenge your ankles.
Find at Home DepotColor-Changing Tumblers That Distract From the Meltdown
These UV cups shift colors as your drink warms — or as your guests realize you used boxed wine. It’s science and subtle judgment in one.
Find at WalmartAnti-Chafe Stick That Saves Summer (and Relationships)
Because nothing ruins a beach day faster than friction. This little stick prevents walking like a cowboy by noon.
Find at WalmartWaterproof Bluetooth Speaker With Just Enough Bass to Get Complaints
Blast your playlist without fear of splash damage. Poolside, dockside, or campsite — you’re now the DJ and the neighborhood problem.
Find at Best BuyFolding Shade Tent for Dramatic Exits
Your own personal escape pod for weddings, BBQs, and any event with a group text longer than 6 people. Deploy and disappear.
Find at Dicks Sporting GoodsFreezer Pop Molds for Adults With No Shame
Pour in juice, pour in vodka — we’re not here to judge. Childhood nostalgia meets “I earned this.”
Find at WalmartSolar Charger for Endless Scrolling and Judging
Charge your phone with the sun while sipping iced coffee and judging beach outfits from behind your oversized shades.
Find at WalmartPool Noodle Multi-Pack (Now with Emotional Support Properties)
Float, flail, or fence with friends. These aren’t just toys — they’re therapy with slightly more chlorine.
Find at LowesWhat Makes This List Different? We Did It So You Don’t Have To
Forget the “must-haves” recommended by influencers who sweat in air conditioning. These items are field-tested, snark-approved, and handpicked by the team at The Folly Times. If you’re going to sweat through your favorite shirt, you might as well do it with a little shade — literal and emotional.
