NEED TO KNOW
- Trump blasts Powell’s $2.5B Fed renovation, calls it “a disgusting palace for a loser”
- At the same time, he’s reportedly demanding a solid gold toilet and velvet bidet for the White House
- Trump says talking to Powell is “like talking to a chair, but less supportive”
President Donald Trump has declared that Jerome Powell’s $2.5 billion Federal Reserve renovation is “probably illegal, definitely criminal, and absolutely hideous.” He labeled the central banker’s office upgrade a “fireable offense,” then pivoted to ask why the White House bathroom still “smells like history” and lacks a golden toilet.
“He’s building Versailles while Interest Rates are strangling America,” Trump said. “I wouldn’t even spend that much on Melania’s bedroom, and she has very expensive taste. Very classy. But Powell? No. He doesn’t even moisturize.”
According to internal memos, Trump has requested “a tasteful gold toilet with diamond flusher, velvet bidet, and custom MAGA plumbing” as part of upcoming White House ‘restorations.’ Officials confirmed this addition would be funded “through a discreet reallocation of the National Archives budget.”
Meanwhile, Powell has asked the Fed’s inspector general to investigate claims that the renovation includes a private sauna, an escape tunnel to Wall Street, and a conference room modeled after the Death Star’s throne chamber. “Those are all false,” Powell said. “Except the sauna. The economy is stressful.”
Sources close to Trump say his frustrations with Powell stem less from interest rates and more from “toilet envy.” The president reportedly stormed out of a Fed briefing after seeing Powell’s executive restroom had “a nicer faucet.”
Quote of the moment
He talks like a chair, he spends like Versailles, and he still won’t cut the damn rates
Donald Trump
