NEED TO KNOW
- Police shut down a rogue Renaissance fair held in a Publix parking lot in Ocala, Florida
- Couple charged with medieval loitering, turkey leg trafficking, and jousting without a permit
- Witnesses say event lasted six hours and involved at least one duel over honor and hummus
Publix Becomes Battleground for Ye Olde Improvisation
OCALA, FL – A Florida couple is facing multiple misdemeanor charges after transforming a suburban Publix parking lot into a full-scale, unauthorized Renaissance fair. The event, titled “Lords & Loincloths: A Grocery Kingdom Experience,” was promoted entirely via scroll-shaped flyers left on car windshields.
According to police, the spectacle included live lute performances, two unlicensed blacksmiths, and a knight in flip-flops demanding tribute from SUV drivers. The suspects, Rodney and Sheryl Plunkett, were arrested after allegedly hosting a six-hour “jousting tournament” that blocked the bakery entrance and several senior citizens’ preferred parking spots.
Turkey Legs, Barter, and ‘Ye Dubiously Sourced Mead’
Officers say the couple constructed a plywood tavern near the cart return and began selling turkey legs, medieval-themed bath bombs, and flagons of mead described as “honey-adjacent.” The fair operated on a strict barter system: $5 cash, or two AA batteries and a spoken compliment.
“They had chainmail, turkey legs, and a guy dressed as a wizard casting spells at the ATM,” said witness Jeanette Folds. “I was just trying to buy arugula and suddenly I’m in Game of Thrones for the middle class.”
Jousting and Public Disturbance Allegations
Authorities were alerted when a 2005 Dodge Caravan was struck by a lance fashioned from a broken umbrella and PVC pipe. According to the police report, a dispute over parking lines escalated into a duel described as “slow and theatrical, but emotionally compelling.”
Publix management attempted to de-escalate the scene by offering complimentary mini cupcakes. The attempt failed when the event’s self-declared dungeon master declared Publix “an apostate realm unfit for feasting.”
Charges and Community Reactions
The Plunketts were charged with unauthorized commerce, impersonating nobility, and possession of historically inaccurate garb. Sheryl defended the event, stating, “It’s educational. We brought culture to the meat department.”
Despite the controversy, several local residents have expressed support. “Frankly, it’s the most excitement we’ve had here since the great rotisserie chicken recall,” one shopper told reporters. “I say let them joust — just maybe not by the propane tanks.”
Quote of the moment
Every man deserves the right to joust near frozen peas
Rodney Plunkett, Defending Himself in Court
