Orlando, FL – It seems that Governor DeSantis is considering various options for land surrounding Disney World, including turning it into a state park, another theme park, or even a state prison. Furthermore, the governor mentioned that the board he appointed would also consider selling utilities housed on the district to a private entity, indicating that he is exploring various possibilities for the land.
The governor also stated that a new bill will be introduced next week that would impose new inspection regulations on Disney, specifically on its monorail and rides. It is unclear what the exact nature of these regulations would be, but they would presumably aim to ensure the safety of guests at Disney’s parks.
However, sources close to the situation say that Disney executives outplayed DeSantis yet again. Disney, right after hearing DeSanti’s remarks, announced that construction of a Disney Themed Hotel Attraction, similar to their Star Wars Galactic Starcruiser Experience, Called Escape from Disney-atraz.
Disney representatives declined to comment on the situation, but sources say that the company is confident that the “Disney Themed” prison attraction will be a huge success™️. “People love Disney and they love theme parks,” one insider said. “We’re confident that this ride will be a hit with tourists and locals alike.”
Critics, however, are not so sure. “This is a clear example of Disney taking advantage of the Governor’s naivety,” said one criminal justice advocate. “They’ve turned a serious issue into a cheap gimmick. It’s insulting to the people of Florida and to the prisoners who will be housed there.”
As for the prisoners themselves, they will reportedly be used as low-cost extras in various theme park attractions, with some even being forced to wear Mickey Mouse costumes. It is unclear how this will impact their rehabilitation, but sources say that Disney is not concerned.
