Austin, TX – In a stunning display of reverence for the divine, Texas lawmakers have recently passed a groundbreaking law that mandates all students in public schools to watch the timeless cinematic masterpiece, “The Ten Commandments,” every year from kindergarten to twelfth grade. This bold move aims to ensure that Texas youth receive the proper moral and ethical education needed to navigate the complexities of modern society.
The legislation, dubbed the “Ten Commandments Education Act,” sailed through both chambers of the Texas State Legislature with an overwhelming majority, leaving some citizens wondering if a burning bush had indeed spoken to their esteemed representatives. Proponents of the law argue that it will lay the foundation for a righteous and law-abiding future generation.
Governor Jack Moses, who signed the bill into law, donned an elaborate Pharaoh’s costume at the signing ceremony. “This law guarantees that our children will not only excel academically but will also possess a deep understanding of our moral heritage,” declared Governor Moses, clutching a staff reminiscent of the one wielded by the legendary Moses in the biblical tale.
Under the new law, all public schools in the Lone Star State are now required to organize a yearly viewing of Cecil B. DeMille’s 1956 classic, “The Ten Commandments.” The three-and-a-half-hour epic will become an integral part of the curriculum, as educators must prepare students for an arduous journey through the desert, where they will witness the unveiling of the stone tablets.
Critics of the legislation argue that the state is overstepping its boundaries by intertwining religion with education. However, proponents argue that the film is an educational tool that transcends religious boundaries, delivering a powerful message of morality and virtue to students of all backgrounds.
Unsurprisingly, Hollywood has seized upon the opportunity to revive interest in the film. The local cinema industry is gleefully re-releasing “The Ten Commandments” across the state, with modern-day adaptations even being considered. Rumor has it that acclaimed director Christopher Nolan has been approached to create a high-octane, time-bending version of the story, complete with dramatic CGI effects and epic battles between Pharaoh’s chariots.
As the news spreads across the nation, other states are contemplating their own versions of this groundbreaking legislation. Rumblings from the Bible Belt suggest that Mississippi may introduce mandatory viewings of “Noah” or “The Prince of Egypt” in the near future.
While the Ten Commandments Education Act has its fair share of supporters and detractors, one thing is for certain: students in Texas will undoubtedly be well-versed in the story of Moses, chariot races, and the importance of thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s donkey.
