NEED TO KNOW
- TIME Magazine named Haliey Welch, aka Hawk Tuah Girl, one of the Top 100 creators in the world.
- Tennessee’s Department of Education is reportedly partnering with Welch for a new “abstinence-optional” sex ed pilot.
- The curriculum includes real-world phrases, viral techniques, and tips for going viral without actually catching anything.
Tennessee officials announced Monday that Haliey Welch, better known as “Hawk Tuah Girl,” will head up the state’s revamped sex education program. Welch, who shot to internet fame after demonstrating an unsolicited sound effect on a stranger during an on-the-street interview, will reportedly blend health, honesty, and hot-girl summer into a new required course called *Advanced Spittin’ Truth 101*.
“Traditional textbooks weren’t reaching students,” said Education Commissioner Randy Hargis. “Then we saw her hit 80 million views in 36 hours and thought, ‘That’s science.’” Welch’s lesson plan reportedly includes live demonstrations, bonus points for denim shorts, and an entire unit titled *Mouth Stuff: A History*. Schools have already purchased 800 packs of Big League Chew as teaching aids.
Conservatives initially resisted the appointment until learning she also “prays real loud” and knows how to change a truck tire. “She’s exactly the kind of woman my daddy warned me about and my son won’t stop texting,” said one rural school board member.
Despite criticism, state leaders insist the program is both “morally flexible and hydraulically accurate.” Welch responded to backlash with a statement simply reading: “Hawk. Tuah. Deal with it.”
Sometimes God doesn’t give you talent, just a moment, a mic, and a powerful loogie.
Quote of the moment
Let’s be honest, I taught more anatomy in 15 seconds than most health teachers do in a semester.
Haliey Welch
