NEED TO KNOW
- Justin Timberlake reveals Lyme disease days after fans remember the Janet Jackson incident
- Medical professionals say the disease spreads faster when TMZ calls first
- CDC considering adding “Career Damage Control” as a fourth stage of Lyme
After Justin Timberlake announced he’s battling Lyme Disease, one Hollywood physician finally broke ranks, admitting that “roughly 90% of celebrity Lyme cases occur during suspiciously well-timed PR crises.”
“It’s amazing,” said Dr. Mitch Landon, who treats high-profile clients between NDAs. “One moment a pop star is facing backlash, and the next—boom—bitten by a tick so famous it probably has a SAG card.”
According to Dr. Landon, the pattern is clear: “One minute, headlines are about your DUI, your ex, or your awkward Super Bowl flashback. The next, you’re bravely battling a tick that somehow only attacked the rich and public-facing.”
Timberlake’s post went viral, describing “massive nerve pain and crazy fatigue,” but experts noted those symptoms are also consistent with hosting SNL after 35. Fans expressed support, though some gently pointed out that Lyme outbreaks rarely surge in Istanbul in July.
“If he got Lyme from the Mediterranean, it’s a whole new genre of tick,” said one infectious disease expert. “Possibly one with a clipboard and publicist.”
Quote of the moment
My chart has a special checkbox for ‘Lyme (Strategic)’
Dr. Mitch Landon, celebrity concierge physician
