Nancy Pelosi, At Age 83, Declares Not Just Another Run for Congress, But Eternity
The secret to immortality and building wealth? Just keep running for office! WASHINGTON – In a stunning revelation that has experts stumped, House…
San Francisco’s Latest Trend: ‘Board Chic’ Takes Over as Boards and Nails Become the Hottest Items in Retail
San Francisco, CA — As iconic fashion outlets, tech stores, and luxury brands continue their exodus from San Francisco’s Union Square, a new…
Burning Man Mud Jam Declared Art Installation, Not Traffic Snarl
Burning Man, the festival that turns the Black Rock Desert into a temporary city of art, techno-music, and dubious hygiene, came to an…
Staten Island Plans to Secede from New York, Announces Plans for Its Own Currency, National Anthem, and Space Program
Staten Island, NY — Staten Island is not just aiming to secede from New York City, but it also plans to become its…
San Francisco 4-Person Tent Housing Drops Below $500,000 Amidst Crime and Drug Epidemic
San Francisco, CA — The once-elusive dream of owning a 4-person tent in the heart of San Francisco has become slightly more attainable…
BIDENOMICS “GET RICH SLOWLY” CAMPAIGN – Trillion-Dollar Bills to Be Printed in Invisible Ink
The Biden administration has introduced its latest brainchild – “Bidenomics: Get Rich Slowly.” President Joe Biden, flanked by his team of economic advisors,…
Competitive Shoplifting Takes the Gold in San Francisco
San Francisco, CA — Move over, baseball and football – there’s a new game in town, and it’s taking San Francisco by storm.…
Unemployment Rates Plummet as Multitasking Becomes the Hottest Job Skill
The latest unemployment figures have taken an unexpected nosedive, leaving economists scratching their heads and politicians high-fiving each other. The secret behind this…
Zuckerberg and Musk Agree to Arm-Wrestling Showdown
Tech giants Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk have decided to settle their differences in an epic arm-wrestling competition, proving once and for all…
Tom “My Shirt is Never” Fitton Replaces Trumps Top Lawyer on Legal Team
In an unprecedented move, former President Donald J. Trump has bid adieu to his team of high-powered lawyers and replaced them with a…
