Trump Announces 50% Tariff on Fun for Cinco de Mayo, Cites “Unfair Advantage in Joy Production”
Trump announces a 50% tariff on Cinco de Mayo celebrations, targeting margaritas, dancing, and joy. He calls it a necessary step to “protect…
Ted Cruz Starts Using N-Word to Fund Family Getaways After Seeing It Works for Minnesota Mom
After a Minnesota woman raised half a million for slinging slurs, Ted Cruz figured he’d give it a try. His Cancun fund is…
Former President and Convicted Felon Donald Trump Wins 2024 Election
From fast-food fryer to the Oval Office — again.…
Elon Musk Offers to Father the Future: Win a Chance to Be Impregnated by the Billionaire—In Space
Because when it comes to saving humanity, Musk says it's time to shoot for the stars... literally.…
60 Minutes Offers Kamala Harris Interview Tapes in Exchange for Donald Trump’s “Apprentice” Racist Tirade Footage
60 Minutes vows to release Kamala Harris’s full interview tapes — if Mark Burnett releases unaired "Apprentice" footage of Donald Trump’s alleged racist…
NYC Mayor Eric Adams Indicted on Multiple Charges, Announces Presidential Run to “Beat the Charges”
Key Takeaways: In an unexpected turn of events, the indictment against NYC Mayor Eric Adams has been unsealed, revealing a laundry list of…
Georgia’s Election Board Mandates Voters Use Rocks Instead of Ballots: “A Stone-Cold Approach to Democracy”
Georgia’s election board announced that voters will now be required to cast their ballots using rocks instead of traditional paper or electronic voting…
Matt Gaetz Caught in a Real-Life “Dazed and Confused” Scandal
In a real life event that could’ve been ripped straight from his favorite movie, “Dazed and Confused,” Florida’s own political firebrand, Rep. Matt…
Teamsters’ Presidential Endorsement Mirrors Electoral College Approach, Sparking Debate Among Union Members
The Teamsters Union, one of the most influential labor organizations in the U.S., has announced a presidential endorsement process modeled after the Electoral…
Congress Votes to Postpone Decision Until Absolutely Everyone Stops Paying Attention
In a decision that shocked absolutely no one, Congress has voted to postpone a critical legislative decision until such time that the American…
