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Lifestyle Local Woman Claims Microwave Beep Is Passive-Aggressive|Family Area Dad Buys 14-Foot Ladder, Nothing Left to Prove|Health Surgeon General Warns Against Reheating Fish at Work|Business Pet Lizard Named Regional Sales Director in Restructuring|Entertainment Ghost Haunting Basement Just Lonely, Wants to Be in Book Club|Relationships “It’s Not You, It’s Mercury in Retrograde,” Says Breakup Text|Finance Toddler Declares Bankruptcy After Spree at Gumball Machine|Law Florida Man Wins Lawsuit Against Gravity|Tech Man Trapped in Group Text Since 2018, Sends Final SOS|Science AI Predicts Own Doom, Correctly Schedules HR Exit Interview|U.S. Emotional Support Squirrel Rejected by TSA, Starts Podcast|Work Woman on Zoom Call Wears Pajamas of Increasing Power|Education Conspiracy Theorist Discovers He’s Actually Just Bad at Puzzles|World Coffee Shop Declares Independence, Prints Own Currency|Politics Senator Accidentally Votes for Own Removal, Blames Glitch|Business New AI CEO Fires Entire Board, Hosts Motivational Webinar|Entertainment Man Watching Movie on Plane Thinks He’s Better Than You|Science Scientists Confirm Moon Still There, Just Tired of Our Sh*t|World Iceland Apologizes for Being So Cool About Literally Everything| Lifestyle Local Woman Claims Microwave Beep Is Passive-Aggressive|Family Area Dad Buys 14-Foot Ladder, Nothing Left to Prove|Health Surgeon General Warns Against Reheating Fish at Work|Business Pet Lizard Named Regional Sales Director in Restructuring|Entertainment Ghost Haunting Basement Just Lonely, Wants to Be in Book Club|Relationships “It’s Not You, It’s Mercury in Retrograde,” Says Breakup Text|Finance Toddler Declares Bankruptcy After Spree at Gumball Machine|Law Florida Man Wins Lawsuit Against Gravity|Tech Man Trapped in Group Text Since 2018, Sends Final SOS|Science AI Predicts Own Doom, Correctly Schedules HR Exit Interview|U.S. Emotional Support Squirrel Rejected by TSA, Starts Podcast|Work Woman on Zoom Call Wears Pajamas of Increasing Power|Education Conspiracy Theorist Discovers He’s Actually Just Bad at Puzzles|World Coffee Shop Declares Independence, Prints Own Currency|Politics Senator Accidentally Votes for Own Removal, Blames Glitch|Business New AI CEO Fires Entire Board, Hosts Motivational Webinar|Entertainment Man Watching Movie on Plane Thinks He’s Better Than You|Science Scientists Confirm Moon Still There, Just Tired of Our Sh*t|World Iceland Apologizes for Being So Cool About Literally Everything|
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Sports - Page 4

Paris Olympics Organizers Apologize for Being Too Fabulous Despite Backlash from Conservatives

In an unexpected turn of events, the organizers of the Paris 2024 Olympics have issued an apology for what some have deemed an…

2024 Olympics Introduce New Sports: Cheese Rolling, Extreme Ironing, and More!

In an effort to keep the Olympic Games fresh and engaging, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) has announced the inclusion of several unconventional…

Dodgers RHP Dustin May Out for Rest of 2024 After Epic Nacho Challenge Leads to Torn Esophagu

Los Angeles Dodgers’ right-handed pitcher Dustin May will miss the remainder of the 2024 season after sustaining a torn esophagus during an ill-fated…

The Frankfurter Fraud: A Saucy Scandal in Competitive Eating

Nick Wehry, a seasoned contestant in Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest, has been accused of cheating during the latest event. The allegations…

Joey Chestnut Points Finger at Nathan’s Hot Dog Contest Organizers, Plots Revenge with Impossible Burger Showdown

NEW YORK, NY — In a twist more shocking than a record-setting 76 hot dogs in 10 minutes, legendary competitive eater Joey Chestnut has…

NFL Flexes Bears-Broncos Game to Wednesday Afternoon Slot Due to “Collective Mediocrity”

NEW YORK — In an unprecedented move, the NFL announced today that the upcoming Bears-Broncos game, originally set for primetime on Monday night,…

Novak Djokovic Stuns the World by Announcing Switch to Professional Pickleball

Tennis superstar Novak Djokovic has announced that he will be leaving the world of tennis to pursue a career as a professional pickleball…

Congresswoman Greene’s CrossFit Crusade: From Legislating To Lunging

WASHINGTON D.C. – Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene left her fellow lawmakers scratching their heads during a special congressional committee meeting yesterday. While the…

Brett Favre Fumbles Million-Dollar Welfare Speeches, Prefers Trump’s ‘Pardon Plays’

Former NFL quarterback and self-proclaimed Trump supporter Brett Favre finds himself in a whirlwind of controversy involving welfare money. The Hall of Fame…

George Santos Claims Georgia Bulldog Championship Team to Visit His Office Instead of White House

Representative George Santos made a statement claiming that the Georgia Bulldogs football team would not be accepting the White House invitation, but instead…

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