Nation Panics as Pride Month Threatens to Turn Everyone Fabulous
The nation finds itself on the brink of a fabulous catastrophe as Pride Month sweeps the country with its vibrant colors and inclusive…
Freedom Caucus Calls for Boycott of Calendars, Claims June Pride Month is an ‘Assault on Straight Timekeeping’
The staunchly conservative members of the Freedom Caucus have issued a call for a nationwide boycott of calendars in protest against the upcoming…
Conservative Outrage Ensues as Female Disney World Worker Wears Pants
Orlando, FL – The happiest place on Earth has become a hotbed of controversy as conservatives find themselves scandalized by a woman daring…
Chick-fil-A Now Serving White Meat and Dark Meat Chicken to Promote Inclusion
Chick-fil-A, the beloved fast-food chain known for its crispy and succulent chicken, has announced a groundbreaking decision that is sure to shake up…
Liberals Introduce Gender-Neutral Term for Boycott: ‘Nonconformity Celebration’
In a stunning display of progressive linguistics, liberals have unveiled a groundbreaking new term to replace the allegedly non-inclusive word “boycott.” The term,…
Conservatives Resort to Potato Sack Couture After Exhausting All Companies to Boycott
Conservatives across the nation have found themselves in a quandary after exhausting their repertoire of companies to boycott. In a bid to express…
Man Buys Speaker to “Bark” Up the Wrong Tree with Neighbors’ Dogs
Mr. David Button, a self-proclaimed dog enthusiast, took matters into his own hands to combat the feeling of exclusion from his canine-owning neighbors.…
Texas Passes Bill to Keep Highways Straight
In a move that has been met with widespread criticism, the Texas legislature has passed a bill that would prevent gay people from…
Witches in Hocus-Panic as Politicians Reference Witch Hunts
In a recent development that has sent shockwaves through the witch community, witches across the United States are reportedly living in fear due…
Feeling insecure about his masculinity, Jordan Peterson calls for boycott of Maybelline
Dylan Mulvaney, the rising American social media influencer, has recently caused controversy with her partnership with New York-based cosmetics company, Maybelline. The 26-year-old…
