It was a sunny morning in Washington when democracy officially went half-off. The White House lawn buzzed with activity as the Trump family held what experts are calling the largest liquidation of constitutional values since 1776. Shoppers browsed gently used freedoms, a ballot box marked “Make Offer,” and a slightly bent Statue of Liberty torch listed under “decorative.”
Meanwhile, Donald Trump cheerfully stapled a “Trump 4 Life” banner above the South Portico, declaring the sale a success. “We’re making democracy great again,” he said, “by privatizing it.” Reports confirm Eric tried to auction the Bill of Rights as “vintage parchment,” while Don Jr. insisted the scales of justice were “just decorative.” Historians noted the irony: America’s yard sale featured everything but accountability.
