NEED TO KNOW
- Donald Trump announced a bold new tariff deadline, then reportedly asked if “we could push it back a little for Shark Week.”
- White House aides confirmed Trump was “unaware” the tariff deadline overlapped with Discovery Channel’s annual shark programming.
- Negotiators now scrambling to fit global trade disputes between episodes of “Shark Week: Bite Club.”
A Deal Soaked in Blood (and Ratings)
President Donald Trump startled international markets Tuesday after announcing an aggressive new tariff deadline on Chinese imports, then immediately inquiring whether the date conflicted with “any major cultural events, like Shark Week.” When told it did, Trump paused and asked, “Can we just… do it the week after? Sharks deserve focus.”
From the Situation Room to the Living Room
Sources inside Mar-a-Lago say the original deadline was chosen to project strength and resolve, but was quickly walked back when Trump realized it would interfere with his traditional “all-fin-no-filter” binge marathon. Advisors are reportedly looking into rescheduling economic warfare to fall between commercial breaks.
America First, But Sharks Second
“This is a matter of national priority,” Trump clarified during a press conference. “The tariffs are happening. China will pay. But so will my cable bill if I miss the live showing of ‘Sharkadelic Summer 6.’”
Quote of the moment
Sometimes you have to circle the deal for a while before taking the bite.
Donald Trump
