NEED TO KNOW
- Hooters filed for bankruptcy in March and now plans a full brand overhaul.
- Executives say the restaurant will shift away from its “iconic image” and become more like a traditional family dining chain.
- CEO Neil Kiefer admits most customers already “just stare at their phones and order boneless wings anyway.”
From Wings to Warm Lighting
Following a March bankruptcy filing, Hooters unveiled a $30 million turnaround strategy on Monday that will radically transform the restaurant chain into what the company described as “a tastefully disappointing Casual Dining experience not unlike Applebee’s or Friday’s.”
“We’ve had a lot of internal discussions,” said CEO Neil Kiefer. “At the end of the day, most people who walk into a Hooters just want a plate of soggy wings and a giant Pepsi while staring at their phone. So why keep pretending this is still about atmosphere?”
Goodbye Short Shorts, Hello Pretzel Bites
As part of the rebrand, the company plans to introduce new uniforms featuring orange polo shirts, ankle-length khaki pants and modest sneakers. The classic menu will also be replaced by safer items like southwest egg rolls, spinach dip and something called “Fiesta Queso Trio.”
“We looked at what’s working in the modern marketplace,” Kiefer explained. “Turns out people really want bland dinner combos and QR-code menus. And we can still charge $14.99 for a watered-down margarita either way.”
Executives “Hope No One Notices”
Although longtime fans have expressed concern over the changes, company officials believe the average customer will barely notice the difference. “Have you been in a Hooters recently?” one executive asked. “Most guests just scroll TikTok between bites. Honestly, we could paint the walls beige and play smooth jazz and they wouldn’t blink.”
The first renovated location is expected to open in October with neutral lighting, motivational wall art and a single television tuned to the Weather Channel. “It’s a bold new chapter,” Kiefer said. “Basically we’re becoming a sad Applebee’s on purpose. And that’s okay.”
If people aren’t looking up anyway, we might as well stop trying
Neil Kiefer, Hooters CEO
