NEED TO KNOW
- HR scheduled a team-building Escape Room on Friday the 13th without reviewing the theme
- The horror attraction was set in a defunct meatpacking plant with no emergency exits
- Eight employees vanished mid-event, but HR insists the exercise is still “in progress”
Company Retreat Becomes Nightmare as Marketing Team Fails to Exit
TOLEDO, OH – What was meant to be a simple team-building activity turned into corporate legend. An entire marketing team vanished after HR booked a horror-themed escape room on Friday the 13th.
The group entered “Exit 13: Hellhouse Edition” at 2 p.m. for what was described as a “trust-based puzzle maze with light jump scares.” No one has seen them since.
“They signed waivers,” said HR Director Lisa Rafferty. “So we’re giving them space to complete the exercise without judgment or rescue.”
Escape Room Reputation Raises Questions
The venue occupies a former meatpacking facility. Online reviews call it “trauma you can taste” and “perfect for coworkers you barely know.”
Guests navigate pitch-black rooms, fake blood, and actors wielding chainsaws. One review warned, “Bring a flashlight and a therapist.”
HR Insists Everything Is Under Control
Rafferty maintains that the event is ongoing. “Silence is part of the learning curve,” she said. “No news means they’re still communicating… silently, in the dark.”
When asked if anyone had checked on the team, she replied, “If we interfere, we disrupt the bonding process.”
Authorities Grow Concerned as Outlook Calendar Remains Unchanged
Local police arrived 48 hours later after a janitor reported hearing chants and distant printer sounds. Officers found one untouched veggie tray and several name tags spelling “Josh” incorrectly.
The company has not filed a missing persons report. Executives believe the team is just “deep in the experience.”
Company Response Ranges from Vague to Delusional
“Marketing hasn’t been this quiet in years,” said CFO Ben Traylor. “Engagement is up. We haven’t gotten a Slack ping since Thursday.”
Upper management plans to reassess the event outcome during next quarter’s performance reviews—assuming the team returns with results or at least receipts.
Quote of the moment
If they wanted to be rescued, they would’ve escaped
Lisa Rafferty, HR Director
