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The Folly Times
963
Mysterious Box Left at White House Says ‘If Found, Please Return to Mossad’
Secret Service investigates a mysterious package left at the White House bearing a handwritten Mossad…
Trump Says Windmills Cause Tornadoes: “You Spin Something That Big, What Do You Expect?”
Trump blames wind turbines for causing tornadoes, migraines, and “atmospheric disrespect,” promises to return to…
DOJ Asks Ghislaine Maxwell to Start Deputy AG’s Car, Claims It’s a ‘Trust Exercise’
Ghislaine Maxwell was confused when Deputy AG Todd Blanche asked her to start his car…
Trump Announces AI Bot That Only Answers with Trump Quotes, Spelling Errors Included
Trump launches new AI bot trained exclusively on his quotes and fast food orders, accidentally…
Netflix Accidentally Uploads Billy Madison 3 in Place of Happy Gilmore 2, Nation Doesn’t Notice for Eight Hours
Netflix accidentally uploaded Billy Madison 3 instead of Happy Gilmore 2. America didn’t notice until…
Oklahoma Superintendent Claims Nude Women on Office TV Were ‘Educational Diagrams About Sin’
Ryan Walters defends nude images on his office TV as “PowerPoint-based moral education,” sparking laughter…
Joe Rogan Endorses Hunter Biden for 2028, Says America Ready for a President Who’s ‘Already Hit Rock Bottom’
Joe Rogan throws his weight behind Hunter Biden for 2028, calling him scandal-proof and “America’s…
Trump Flees Epstein Questions, Lands in Scotland to Negotiate Golf Cart Tariff With EU
Trump lands in Scotland to escape Epstein questions and discuss golf cart tariffs with confused…
Congress To Quietly Ban Hemp After Realizing It Helps People Feel Better Without Lobbyists
Congress moves to ban hemp products after discovering they relieve stress without major lobbying.
Mascot Arrested at Chuck E. Cheese, Kids Thought It Was Part of a Birthday Package Upgrade
Chuck E. Cheese’s mascot was arrested mid-party in Tallahassee for credit card fraud, giving kids…
Trump Points at Random Blueprint, Demands Powell Justify Every Dollar Spent on a Staircase
During a visit to the Fed headquarters, Trump questioned the cost of a staircase and…
White House Labels South Park ‘Leftist Terror Cell,’ Orders DHS to Monitor Kenny
The Trump White House has labeled “South Park” a “leftist terror cell” after a brutal…
Brigitte Macron Sues Candace Owens, Candace Responds: ‘Wouldn’t Be the First Frenchman in Drag to Slap Me’
After Brigitte Macron sued Candace Owens for defamation, Owens clapped back with constitutional rage and…
IRS to Audit ‘Just the Poors and Regular Liars’ After Trump Budget Cuts Hit Rich-Guy Squad
Trump’s new IRS strategy targets the poor while wealthy taxpayers receive audit immunity and free…
Uber Pledges to Match Women With Women, Accidentally Creates Mobile Therapy Network
Uber’s new “Women+ Connect” accidentally creates America’s largest mobile group therapy network.
Tony Robbins Sues AI Clones for Offering Motivation Without Making You Walk on Fire
Tony Robbins is suing AI bots for offering motivation without a $3,000 seminar or mandatory…
Pay Up or Stay Forever: Trump Strikes ‘Freedom Tariff’ Deal with China
China unveils Staycation Plus™, offering detained Americans continental breakfast, soft pillows, and an optional exit…
CDC Issues ‘Stop Being Poor’ Heat Guidance as Florida Man Sues the Sun for Emotional Damages
As heatwaves ravage the U.S., the CDC rolls out bold new guidance: “Stop Being Poor.”…
Ozzy Osbourne’s Ghost Begins World Tour
Ozzy Osbourne’s ghost launched a chaotic post-death world tour hours after his passing, proving death…
Trump Declares ‘Transparency Time’ Releases JFK, RFK, MLK, and His Own McDonald’s Orders
Trump calls it “Transparency Time,” releasing MLK, JFK, RFK files — and his own fast…
Gabbard Refers Obama for ‘Conspiracy to Collude With Collusion’ in Time-Looping Indictment
Tulsi Gabbard has referred Obama to the DOJ for allegedly creating the Russia collusion narrative…
Powell Yells “Just Close the F*cking Door” as GOP Refers Him for Crimes He Didn’t Commit Fast Enough
After a criminal referral over luxury renovations, Fed Chair Jerome Powell asks the real question:…
WNBA Players Demand to Be Paid What They’re Worth, Accidentally Slash Their Own Salaries
WNBA All-Stars demanded to be paid what they’re worth. Unfortunately, the math didn’t go their…
Trump Sketches Redskins Logo on Back of Epstein Birthday Card, Says ‘Drawing’s Always Been a Safe Place for Me’
President Trump reignites controversy by sketching a new Redskins logo on the back of Jeffrey…
Trump Nominates Florida Scratch-Off Legend to Run the Fed: ‘He’s Got the Golden Fingernail’
President Trump replaces Jerome Powell with Dale “Big Money” Jenkins, a Florida scratch-off legend whose…
Dear Folly: Help! I Can Hear My Neighbor Masturbating and It Kind of Turns Me On
A concerned (and slightly aroused) reader writes in after discovering her neighbor’s solo sessions are……
Trump Offers Missiles to Ukraine, Says “Sometimes You Gotta Gaslight Both Sides”
Trump announces Patriot missile deal for Ukraine, confusing everyone including himself. “It’s called tough love…
JD Vance Emerges from Secret Murdoch Meeting Covered in Elk Blood, Claims It Was ‘Symbolic’
Vice President JD Vance left a secret Murdoch-Fox executive meeting soaked in elk blood and…
Ted Cruz and Wife Seen Laughing at Trump’s Jokes About Her Face, Marriage Stronger Than Ever
After years of insults, Ted Cruz and his wife Heidi laughed it off over filet…
Trump Denies Epstein Birthday Letter, Sues for $10 Billion, Says ‘I Don’t Even Know How to Draw a Boob That Small’
Trump launches $10B lawsuit against WSJ over Epstein birthday art, says boobs “look nothing like…
