Secret Service investigates a mysterious package left at the White House bearing a handwritten Mossad…
Trump blames wind turbines for causing tornadoes, migraines, and “atmospheric disrespect,” promises to return to…
Ghislaine Maxwell was confused when Deputy AG Todd Blanche asked her to start his car…
Trump launches new AI bot trained exclusively on his quotes and fast food orders, accidentally…
Netflix accidentally uploaded Billy Madison 3 instead of Happy Gilmore 2. America didn’t notice until…
Ryan Walters defends nude images on his office TV as “PowerPoint-based moral education,” sparking laughter…
Joe Rogan throws his weight behind Hunter Biden for 2028, calling him scandal-proof and “America’s…
Trump lands in Scotland to escape Epstein questions and discuss golf cart tariffs with confused…
Congress moves to ban hemp products after discovering they relieve stress without major lobbying.
Chuck E. Cheese’s mascot was arrested mid-party in Tallahassee for credit card fraud, giving kids…
During a visit to the Fed headquarters, Trump questioned the cost of a staircase and…
The Trump White House has labeled “South Park” a “leftist terror cell” after a brutal…
After Brigitte Macron sued Candace Owens for defamation, Owens clapped back with constitutional rage and…
Trump’s new IRS strategy targets the poor while wealthy taxpayers receive audit immunity and free…
Uber’s new “Women+ Connect” accidentally creates America’s largest mobile group therapy network.
Tony Robbins is suing AI bots for offering motivation without a $3,000 seminar or mandatory…
China unveils Staycation Plus™, offering detained Americans continental breakfast, soft pillows, and an optional exit…
As heatwaves ravage the U.S., the CDC rolls out bold new guidance: “Stop Being Poor.”…
Ozzy Osbourne’s ghost launched a chaotic post-death world tour hours after his passing, proving death…
Trump calls it “Transparency Time,” releasing MLK, JFK, RFK files — and his own fast…
Tulsi Gabbard has referred Obama to the DOJ for allegedly creating the Russia collusion narrative…
After a criminal referral over luxury renovations, Fed Chair Jerome Powell asks the real question:…
WNBA All-Stars demanded to be paid what they’re worth. Unfortunately, the math didn’t go their…
President Trump reignites controversy by sketching a new Redskins logo on the back of Jeffrey…
President Trump replaces Jerome Powell with Dale “Big Money” Jenkins, a Florida scratch-off legend whose…
A concerned (and slightly aroused) reader writes in after discovering her neighbor’s solo sessions are……
Trump announces Patriot missile deal for Ukraine, confusing everyone including himself. “It’s called tough love…
Vice President JD Vance left a secret Murdoch-Fox executive meeting soaked in elk blood and…
After years of insults, Ted Cruz and his wife Heidi laughed it off over filet…
Trump launches $10B lawsuit against WSJ over Epstein birthday art, says boobs “look nothing like…
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