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North Koreans Add Trump to “Fearless Leader” Photo Wall, Say His Vibe Just Fits

Trump joins Xi, Putin, and Kim on North Korea’s wall of strongmen. Critics call it chilling. MAGA calls it presidential stagecraft.…

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Trump Agrees to Accept Luxury Jet From Qatar, Cites “Deep National Need for Mid-Air Gold Plating”

Trump confirms he’ll accept a luxury jet from Qatar. He says it’s for national duty, critics say it’s just a flying suite named after himself.…

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Trump Ends His Own Tariffs, Declares Victory

Trump rolls back tariffs he added, triggering MAGA celebration over the brilliant move of reversing the thing he did last week.…

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Fitness Influencer Reveals Secret to Shredded Abs: No Job, No Kids, No Responsibilities

Kendall Jaye’s “realistic” fitness routine includes sunrise rituals, chia water, and the superhuman power of not having a single obligation.…

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Trump Signs Executive Order to Slash Drug Prices, Emphasizes Immediate Impact on Adderall

In a significant policy move, President Trump signs an executive order to lower prescription drug costs, highlighting the importance of medications like Adderall in the initiative.…

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Trump Plans Military Birthday Parade After Putin’s Flex, Hopes Xi RSVPs and Brings Cake

After Putin’s flashy military parade, Trump is demanding his own in Washington. Sources say he wants tanks, jets, and a RSVP from President Xi.…

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Fox News Taps High School AV Clubs After Running Out of Hosts

With Judge Jeanine gone to prosecute something, Fox News turns to high school AV club talent to fill its airtime. Expect awkward energy and confident nonsense.…

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Da Pope Adds Walter Payton Fathead to Papal Quarters, Declares Bears “God’s Team”

Pope Leo XIV has customized his quarters with a Walter Payton Fathead, Da Bears posters, and a side of Midwestern reverence. Heaven, meet Soldier Field.…

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Trump Declares War on Mattel to Protect America from Surprise Clowns and Cheap Springs

President Trump plans a 100 percent tariff on Mattel. Critics say it’s revenge for never getting a Jack-in-the-Box as a kid.…

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Congress Accidentally Passes Useful Bill, Immediately Apologizes

Congress passed a bill that helps real people. Officials quickly apologized, burned it, and promised to never be effective again.…

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