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September 2024 - Page 4

NFL’s New Kickoff Rule Sparks Outrage Among Old-School Fans: “Bring Back Leather Helmets!

As NFL fans settle in for the first football Sunday of the year, the league’s new kickoff rule has sparked controversy among old-school enthusiasts. Designed to improve player safety, the rule has angered…

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Trump to Sell “Limited Edition” Pieces of Soiled Underwear from Assassination Attempt

In what might be one of the most bizarre fundraising strategies in political history, Donald Trump has reportedly unveiled his latest plan to save the financially struggling GOP: selling limited edition pieces of…

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Trump Force One Dumps #2 Over Wisconsin During Rally Flyover

Former President Donald Trump’s private jet, Trump Force One, reportedly dumped human waste over a crowd during a rally flyover in Wisconsin. The unfortunate incident, reminiscent of the infamous Dave Matthews Band sewage dump…

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Source Claims Kamala Harris Is Picking Out New White House Curtains, Drawing Praise from J.D. Vance for ‘Doing What a Woman Should’

An anonymous source close to the Harris / Walz campaign has claimed that Vice President Kamala Harris is already picking out new curtains for the White House, despite the 2024 election being more…

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FOP Endorses Old, Weird Convicted Felon: Wild Times in Politics

The Fraternal Order of Police (FOP) has endorsed a candidate no one saw coming—an old, weird convicted felon. Yes, you read that right. While most political endorsements follow a predictable path, this one…

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Putin Endorses Kamala Harris, Pinky Swears He’s Not Lying About It

Russian President Vladimir Putin has publicly endorsed U.S. Vice President Kamala Harris for the 2024 election. But that’s not the strangest part—Putin claims he’s serious and even “pinky swears” he’s telling the truth.…

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Trump Promises to Release Jeffrey Epstein’s Client List — Asks to Ignore One Redacted Name

In what may be his most attention-grabbing announcement yet, Donald Trump has promised to release Jeffrey Epstein’s infamous client list. The list, believed to contain the names of high-profile individuals who visited Epstein’s…

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HR Department Declares ‘Reply All’ Emails Now Considered a Form of Workplace Harassment

In a groundbreaking policy update, the HR department at a major corporation has declared that ‘Reply All’ emails will now be classified as a form of workplace harassment. The decision comes after years…

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Lara Trump Releases Singing Video; Kim Jong Un Thanks His Trump Friends for New Torture Mixtape

Lara Trump’s latest foray into the world of music has taken an unexpected international turn. The wife of Eric Trump recently released a video of herself performing some songs. While she may have…

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Politicians Flood Social Media with Happy Labor Day Posts While Ignoring Minimum Wage Stagnation Since 2009

As Americans celebrated Labor Day, social media was flooded with posts from politicians wishing their constituents a happy holiday. While these messages aimed to honor the hardworking men and women across the country,…

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