BREAKING – To combat the spread of bird flu, the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the European Food Safety Authority (EFSA) have announced that all chickens must now wear masks and practice social distancing in their coops and on their farms.
“We know it may seem extreme, but we’re taking every precaution to keep our feathered friends safe,” said USDA spokesperson, Betty Kluckson.
According to the new guidelines, each chicken must wear a properly fitted mask at all times, covering their beak and nostrils. They must also maintain a distance of at least six feet from other chickens while inside their coops and on the farm.
The new rules have caused some confusion among chicken farmers, who are unsure how to properly mask their poultry.
“I’ve been trying to put masks on my chickens, but they keep pecking at them and pulling them off,” said farmer Joe Henhouse. “And how am I supposed to enforce social distancing among them? They don’t understand the concept!”
Some animal rights activists have also criticized the new guidelines, arguing that they place undue stress on the chickens and are unnecessary.
“I think it’s ridiculous to make chickens wear masks and socially distance,” said activist, Claire Featherstone. “They’re chickens, not people! We should focus on improving conditions on farms instead of imposing human rules on animals.”
Despite the criticism, the USDA and EFSA are standing firm on the new guidelines, stating that they are necessary to prevent the spread of bird flu and protect the health of both chickens and humans.
“We understand that this may be a difficult adjustment for some farmers and chickens,” said Cluckerson. “But we must take all necessary measures to ensure their safety in these unprecedented times.”
