Karoline Leavitt Denies Rumors of Trump Crush, Says Lips Only Fire Rounds at NPR and ‘Other Enemies of the People’
Trump says he loves her lips, she says they only shoot at NPR. America is confused but intrigued.…
Mysterious Box Left at White House Says ‘If Found, Please Return to Mossad’
Secret Service investigates a mysterious package left at the White House bearing a handwritten Mossad return address and a suspicious note signed “Love,…
Ted Cruz and Wife Seen Laughing at Trump’s Jokes About Her Face, Marriage Stronger Than Ever
After years of insults, Ted Cruz and his wife Heidi laughed it off over filet mignon with Trump, proving that if you can’t…
Man of Steel, Diet of Arby’s — Trump Demands New Superman Film Depict Him Punching Taxes and Kicking Migrants
After backlash to the new Superman film, President Trump demands a version featuring himself punching the IRS and deporting undocumented Kryptonians.…
Trump to Host UFC Fight on White House Lawn, Offers Biden “Opening Bout” in Lawn Chair Joust
Trump announced a live UFC championship fight on the White House lawn for America’s 250th birthday, inviting Biden to warm up with a…
Trump Salutes America With Giant Flagpole, Says Bigger Flags Equal Bigger Patriots
Donald Trump adds a new giant flagpole at the White House, claiming that only large flags qualify as real patriotism—and that smaller ones…
White House Love Triangle: Stephen and Katie Miller Torn Between Trump and Musk
As Trump and Musk go full WWE, the Millers test whether marriage can survive divided billionaire loyalties. Washington has thoughts, and maybe popcorn.…
Steve Bannon Offers Play-by-Play as West Wing Goes Full Jerry Springer
Elon Musk and Bessent turned the West Wing into a contact sport, with Steve Bannon on live commentary and Trump debating the installation…
Karine Jean-Pierre’s Book Deal Sparks Rumors of Steamy Relationship with Peter Doocy
Karine Jean-Pierre’s new book may not move D.C., but her rumored romance with Fox’s Peter Doocy sure will. The White House briefing room…
Trump’s New Travel Ban: “It’s Totally Not About Skin Color”
Trump’s administration issues a sweeping travel ban targeting 12 mostly black and brown countries, swearing it’s all “coincidence” and not at all about…
