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Lifestyle Local Woman Claims Microwave Beep Is Passive-Aggressive|Family Area Dad Buys 14-Foot Ladder, Nothing Left to Prove|Health Surgeon General Warns Against Reheating Fish at Work|Business Pet Lizard Named Regional Sales Director in Restructuring|Entertainment Ghost Haunting Basement Just Lonely, Wants to Be in Book Club|Relationships “It’s Not You, It’s Mercury in Retrograde,” Says Breakup Text|Finance Toddler Declares Bankruptcy After Spree at Gumball Machine|Law Florida Man Wins Lawsuit Against Gravity|Tech Man Trapped in Group Text Since 2018, Sends Final SOS|Science AI Predicts Own Doom, Correctly Schedules HR Exit Interview|U.S. Emotional Support Squirrel Rejected by TSA, Starts Podcast|Work Woman on Zoom Call Wears Pajamas of Increasing Power|Education Conspiracy Theorist Discovers He’s Actually Just Bad at Puzzles|World Coffee Shop Declares Independence, Prints Own Currency|Politics Senator Accidentally Votes for Own Removal, Blames Glitch|Business New AI CEO Fires Entire Board, Hosts Motivational Webinar|Entertainment Man Watching Movie on Plane Thinks He’s Better Than You|Science Scientists Confirm Moon Still There, Just Tired of Our Sh*t|World Iceland Apologizes for Being So Cool About Literally Everything| Lifestyle Local Woman Claims Microwave Beep Is Passive-Aggressive|Family Area Dad Buys 14-Foot Ladder, Nothing Left to Prove|Health Surgeon General Warns Against Reheating Fish at Work|Business Pet Lizard Named Regional Sales Director in Restructuring|Entertainment Ghost Haunting Basement Just Lonely, Wants to Be in Book Club|Relationships “It’s Not You, It’s Mercury in Retrograde,” Says Breakup Text|Finance Toddler Declares Bankruptcy After Spree at Gumball Machine|Law Florida Man Wins Lawsuit Against Gravity|Tech Man Trapped in Group Text Since 2018, Sends Final SOS|Science AI Predicts Own Doom, Correctly Schedules HR Exit Interview|U.S. Emotional Support Squirrel Rejected by TSA, Starts Podcast|Work Woman on Zoom Call Wears Pajamas of Increasing Power|Education Conspiracy Theorist Discovers He’s Actually Just Bad at Puzzles|World Coffee Shop Declares Independence, Prints Own Currency|Politics Senator Accidentally Votes for Own Removal, Blames Glitch|Business New AI CEO Fires Entire Board, Hosts Motivational Webinar|Entertainment Man Watching Movie on Plane Thinks He’s Better Than You|Science Scientists Confirm Moon Still There, Just Tired of Our Sh*t|World Iceland Apologizes for Being So Cool About Literally Everything|
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Supreme Court

Two people locking thumbs in a game of thumb war outdoors

Supreme Court Rules That Arguments at Family Gatherings Must Be Settled by Thumb War

The Supreme Court ruled that all family arguments must be settled with thumb wars, ushering in a new era of justice at American…

Donald Trump speaking to Supreme Court Justices Amy Coney Barrett and Brett Kavanaugh during a formal event

Trump Privately Wonders if Supreme Court Nominations Came with Return Policy

President Trump is reportedly venting about his Supreme Court nominations, focusing his ire on Justice Amy Coney Barrett after rulings that didn’t match…

Trump Slams Supreme Court, Springsteen, and Swift in Late-Night Truth Binge

Trump took aim at Taylor Swift, Bruce Springsteen, and the Supreme Court in one rant. Swifties responded faster than Congress ever will.…

Supreme Court Blocks Biden-Harris Plan to Use Taxpayer Dollars for Student Loans, Citing Funds Are for Millionaires and Billionaires Only

The U.S. Supreme Court has recently made a pivotal decision. They’ve blocked the Biden-Harris administration’s proposal to forgive student loans with taxpayer funds.…

Clarence Thomas’s Supreme Yacht Escape: From Bench to Bow

WASHINGTON—In a revelation that has left the nation scratching its collective head, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas reportedly embarked on an all-expenses-paid yacht…

Trump’s Bold New Defense: “I Tried to Off Pence During the Insurrection, But It’s Totally Legal!”

In a revelation that could only be described as the plot of a poorly written political thriller, it’s come to light that former…

Supreme Court Shields Trump: GOP Cheers, But Have They Forgotten Biden’s in Charge?

In a landmark decision that could only make sense in a world where unicorns manage Wall Street, the Supreme Court has ruled that…

Supreme Court Mandates Cross-Cultural Karen Training for Minorities

The United States Supreme Court has made an unexpected decision that requires white women to provide lessons on Karen-esque behavior to their minority…

Supreme Court: Students Must Now Prove They’re Descendants of Ancient Philosophers

Washington D.C. – The Supreme Court of the United States dealt a devastating blow to affirmative action in college admissions. In a 5-4…

Justice Clarence Thomas: Sugar High Crimes at the Supreme Court

Washington, D.C. – Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas has been caught engaging in a sticky-fingered caper, stealing sugar packets and creamer from the…

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