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Tag: Supreme Court
Trump Declares War on Flag Burners, Accidentally Torches First Amendment Instead
Trump has declared war on flag burners, but the First Amendment may burn him back.…
Supreme Court Rules 6–3 That Alabama Must Always Be Included in Playoff “For Historical Reasons”
Justices cite “tradition and vibes” in surprising 6–3 ruling that locks Alabama into the postseason…
Trump Asks SCOTUS to Approve “Pattern Recognition” in ICE Raids, Claims It’s Like Birdwatching but With Handcuffs
Trump administration asks Supreme Court to allow ICE agents in California to arrest based on…
SCOTUS Rules 6–3 in Favor of Arby’s for Lunch, Citing ‘Divine Right of Meat’
In a 6–3 ruling, the Supreme Court has officially selected Arby’s for lunch, declaring meat…
Did Texas Just Make It Harder to Watch Porn Than to Get a Gun?
The Supreme Court backs Texas’ porn ID law, creating the world’s first digital strip search…
Supreme Court Rules States Can Defund Planned Parenthood, Suggests Women Use YouTube Tutorials Instead
The Supreme Court ruled that Medicaid patients can’t sue states for defunding Planned Parenthood, clearing…
Supreme Court Says U.S. Can Deport Criminals to Random Countries, Must Fly Spirit
The Supreme Court approved deporting criminals to countries they’ve never been to, provided they fly…
Supreme Court Rules That Arguments at Family Gatherings Must Be Settled by Thumb War
The Supreme Court ruled that all family arguments must be settled with thumb wars, ushering…
Trump Privately Wonders if Supreme Court Nominations Came with Return Policy
President Trump is reportedly venting about his Supreme Court nominations, focusing his ire on Justice…
Trump Slams Supreme Court, Springsteen, and Swift in Late-Night Truth Binge
Trump took aim at Taylor Swift, Bruce Springsteen, and the Supreme Court in one rant.…
Supreme Court Blocks Biden-Harris Plan to Use Taxpayer Dollars for Student Loans, Citing Funds Are for Millionaires and Billionaires Only
The U.S. Supreme Court has recently made a pivotal decision. They've blocked the Biden-Harris administration's…
Clarence Thomas’s Supreme Yacht Escape: From Bench to Bow
WASHINGTON—In a revelation that has left the nation scratching its collective head, Supreme Court Justice…
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