DOJ Asks Ghislaine Maxwell to Start Deputy AG’s Car, Claims It’s a ‘Trust Exercise’
Ghislaine Maxwell was confused when Deputy AG Todd Blanche asked her to start his car mid-interview. DOJ officials say it was part of…
Trump Sketches Redskins Logo on Back of Epstein Birthday Card, Says ‘Drawing’s Always Been a Safe Place for Me’
President Trump reignites controversy by sketching a new Redskins logo on the back of Jeffrey Epstein’s birthday card, calls it “recycling and patriotism.”…
Trump Denies Epstein Birthday Letter, Sues for $10 Billion, Says ‘I Don’t Even Know How to Draw a Boob That Small’
Trump launches $10B lawsuit against WSJ over Epstein birthday art, says boobs “look nothing like my work.”…
Trump Denies Drawing Epstein Letter, Says ‘I Never Wrote a Picture in My Life’ While Selling Another for $16K
President Trump denies ever drawing anything—even as signed sketches of suspiciously shapely skylines continue selling for thousands.…
Epstein Who? Trump Says He’s Just a ‘Teen Enthusiast’ And Really Into Pageants — ‘Totally Unrelated’
President Trump denies any connection to Epstein, insisting his interest in teen beauty pageants is “just old-school admiration.”…
Trump Installs Presidential Suite in Abandoned Alcatraz For His ‘Retirement’
Trump revamps Alcatraz as a beachfront federal facility “just in case,” sparking speculation it may be his future Mar-a-Locked-Up…
Trump: “We Have Zero Inflation, Zero Border Crossings, and Zero Epstein Clients. You’re Welcome.”
Trump says there are zero Epstein clients, zero inflation, and zero illegal crossings. “That’s not denial,” he explained, “that’s patriotism.”…
Trump Disavows Epstein Truthers: “I Only Want the Support of Gullible Idiots Who Don’t Read or Think”
Trump calls Epstein story a Democrat hoax, declares he no longer wants the support of followers “who read too much.” MAGA influencers spiral.…
Congress Declares Epstein Files ‘Too Real,’ Switches to Investigating UFOs and Taylor Swift Instead
Ghislaine Maxwell offers to testify on Epstein’s clients, but GOP leaders table the issue to chase easier headlines and alien sightings.…
Trump Declares ‘Epstein Never Existed,’ Cites New Memo ‘Written by God, Proofread by Jesus’
Trump shocks the world, declaring Epstein imaginary and blaming 5G towers, windmills, and beer for widespread delusion.…
