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Lifestyle Local Woman Claims Microwave Beep Is Passive-Aggressive|Family Area Dad Buys 14-Foot Ladder, Nothing Left to Prove|Health Surgeon General Warns Against Reheating Fish at Work|Business Pet Lizard Named Regional Sales Director in Restructuring|Entertainment Ghost Haunting Basement Just Lonely, Wants to Be in Book Club|Relationships “It’s Not You, It’s Mercury in Retrograde,” Says Breakup Text|Finance Toddler Declares Bankruptcy After Spree at Gumball Machine|Law Florida Man Wins Lawsuit Against Gravity|Tech Man Trapped in Group Text Since 2018, Sends Final SOS|Science AI Predicts Own Doom, Correctly Schedules HR Exit Interview|U.S. Emotional Support Squirrel Rejected by TSA, Starts Podcast|Work Woman on Zoom Call Wears Pajamas of Increasing Power|Education Conspiracy Theorist Discovers He’s Actually Just Bad at Puzzles|World Coffee Shop Declares Independence, Prints Own Currency|Politics Senator Accidentally Votes for Own Removal, Blames Glitch|Business New AI CEO Fires Entire Board, Hosts Motivational Webinar|Entertainment Man Watching Movie on Plane Thinks He’s Better Than You|Science Scientists Confirm Moon Still There, Just Tired of Our Sh*t|World Iceland Apologizes for Being So Cool About Literally Everything| Lifestyle Local Woman Claims Microwave Beep Is Passive-Aggressive|Family Area Dad Buys 14-Foot Ladder, Nothing Left to Prove|Health Surgeon General Warns Against Reheating Fish at Work|Business Pet Lizard Named Regional Sales Director in Restructuring|Entertainment Ghost Haunting Basement Just Lonely, Wants to Be in Book Club|Relationships “It’s Not You, It’s Mercury in Retrograde,” Says Breakup Text|Finance Toddler Declares Bankruptcy After Spree at Gumball Machine|Law Florida Man Wins Lawsuit Against Gravity|Tech Man Trapped in Group Text Since 2018, Sends Final SOS|Science AI Predicts Own Doom, Correctly Schedules HR Exit Interview|U.S. Emotional Support Squirrel Rejected by TSA, Starts Podcast|Work Woman on Zoom Call Wears Pajamas of Increasing Power|Education Conspiracy Theorist Discovers He’s Actually Just Bad at Puzzles|World Coffee Shop Declares Independence, Prints Own Currency|Politics Senator Accidentally Votes for Own Removal, Blames Glitch|Business New AI CEO Fires Entire Board, Hosts Motivational Webinar|Entertainment Man Watching Movie on Plane Thinks He’s Better Than You|Science Scientists Confirm Moon Still There, Just Tired of Our Sh*t|World Iceland Apologizes for Being So Cool About Literally Everything|
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Government

Elon Musk watches Donald Trump speak during a White House meeting, wearing a cryptic expression and a hat that reads “Great Again”

Musk Furious Trump’s “Big, Beautiful Bill” Threatens Fake Government Agency He Made Up

Elon Musk lashes out at Trump’s latest spending bill, claiming it undermines his pet agency DOGE — which critics say mostly exists to…

Congress Accidentally Passes Useful Bill, Immediately Apologizes

Congress passed a bill that helps real people. Officials quickly apologized, burned it, and promised to never be effective again.…

Congress Votes to Postpone Decision Until Absolutely Everyone Stops Paying Attention

In a decision that shocked absolutely no one, Congress has voted to postpone a critical legislative decision until such time that the American…

U.S. Celebrates Grand Opening of World’s First “Politician Theme Park”

The government has unveiled the world’s first-ever “Politician Theme Park.” Situated on the site of a former landfill, the park promises to provide…

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