Jerome Powell Reportedly Hiding in Utility Closet as Trump Circles Fed With Steak Knife
Fed Chair Jerome Powell reportedly hiding in closet as Trump storms the building demanding rate cuts “or else.”…
Trump Points at Random Blueprint, Demands Powell Justify Every Dollar Spent on a Staircase
During a visit to the Fed headquarters, Trump questioned the cost of a staircase and demanded Jerome Powell explain its financial conduct.…
Powell Yells “Just Close the F*cking Door” as GOP Refers Him for Crimes He Didn’t Commit Fast Enough
After a criminal referral over luxury renovations, Fed Chair Jerome Powell asks the real question: Why is this damn door always open?…
Trump Nominates Florida Scratch-Off Legend to Run the Fed: ‘He’s Got the Golden Fingernail’
President Trump replaces Jerome Powell with Dale “Big Money” Jenkins, a Florida scratch-off legend whose economic strategy involves luck, prayer, and bonus rounds.…
Trump Says Powell’s Office Upgrade Is ‘Fireable Offense’ — Also Demands Gold Toilet in White House Bathrooms
Trump calls Powell’s $2.5B Fed remodel a fireable offense, then demands a gold toilet and velvet bidet for the White House.…
Jerome Powell Considers Retirement After Dismal Amazon Prime Day Sales
After a report showed a 41% drop in Prime Day sales, Jerome Powell blamed the economy’s fragility on “America’s unhealthy relationship with doorbusters.”…
Markets Spooked as Trump Threatens to Replace Powell With Guy in MAGA Hard Hat Who Once Sold Him a Patio
Donald Trump criticized his own Fed pick Jerome Powell for not cutting interest rates, then suggested replacing him with a “real American” in…
Trump to Walmart: Eat the Tariffs, Don’t Raise Prices or Else
Trump warned Walmart not to blame his tariffs for price hikes, insisting the company should absorb the cost. “Inflation is a choice,” he…
Job Growth Epidemic: Fed Needs to Mask Booming Economy Before It’s a Pandemic
The latest job figures released by the Bureau of Labor Statistics have caused widespread panic among economists and policymakers. Despite the seemingly positive…
