Man Who Golfs Four Days a Week Furious That Americans Might Get a Day Off
President Trump says Americans need fewer holidays as he golfs four days a week and blames bunker sand for national decline.…
Taco Trump Strikes Again, But This Time on a Thursday and If the US Should Bomb Iran or Not
President Trump signals possible military action but delays final decision until after a few rallies, some tacos, and a weekend of golf diplomacy…
MAGA Influencers Accuse Juneteenth of Grooming the Calendar
MAGA influencers claim Juneteenth is “grooming” the American calendar and confusing patriotic priorities. Some propose moving it to February or replacing it with…
Barron Trump Exempt from WWIII Due to Family History of Bone Spurs
Amid rising conflict, President Trump announces Barron Trump is medically exempt from serving in World War III due to an inherited bone spur.…
Trump Tells Cruz and Tucker to Stop Fighting Because It’s Taking Attention Away from His Flagpole
Donald Trump intervened in the Cruz-Carlson feud this week, upset that their argument outshined his latest flag-raising ceremony. “All attention should be pointed…
Trump Salutes America With Giant Flagpole, Says Bigger Flags Equal Bigger Patriots
Donald Trump adds a new giant flagpole at the White House, claiming that only large flags qualify as real patriotism—and that smaller ones…
Markets Spooked as Trump Threatens to Replace Powell With Guy in MAGA Hard Hat Who Once Sold Him a Patio
Donald Trump criticized his own Fed pick Jerome Powell for not cutting interest rates, then suggested replacing him with a “real American” in…
Tucker Carlson Says Cruz Doesn’t Know Iran — Cruz Says That’s Not in His Show Notes
Tucker Carlson roasted Sen. Ted Cruz for not knowing Iran’s population or demographics during an interview. Cruz called the questions “cute,” which is…
10 Parades That Outshined Trump’s Birthday Flex
Trump turned 78 with a military parade meant to flex global strength. Instead, it looked like a budget cosplay of 10 authoritarian spectacles…
Trump Unveils $499 Smartphone, Calls It “The Only Phone That Won’t Betray You”
Donald Trump launches the “T1” smartphone and “47 Plan” service, calling it the most patriotic device ever. Features include auto-replying “WRONG” and no…
