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Tag: Donald Trump
Donald Trump, America’s most famous fast-food philosopher and part-time golf course monarch, continues to redefine politics as a reality show no one asked for but everyone can’t stop watching. From courtroom reruns to campaign promises that sound like late-night infomercials, The Folly Times covers every twist, tantrum, and tweet-worthy moment. If it involves Trump, expect equal parts chaos, comedy, and cholesterol.
Trump Nominates Florida Scratch-Off Legend to Run the Fed: ‘He’s Got the Golden Fingernail’
President Trump replaces Jerome Powell with Dale “Big Money” Jenkins, a Florida scratch-off legend whose…
Trump Offers Missiles to Ukraine, Says “Sometimes You Gotta Gaslight Both Sides”
Trump announces Patriot missile deal for Ukraine, confusing everyone including himself. “It’s called tough love…
Ted Cruz and Wife Seen Laughing at Trump’s Jokes About Her Face, Marriage Stronger Than Ever
After years of insults, Ted Cruz and his wife Heidi laughed it off over filet…
Trump Denies Epstein Birthday Letter, Sues for $10 Billion, Says ‘I Don’t Even Know How to Draw a Boob That Small’
Trump launches $10B lawsuit against WSJ over Epstein birthday art, says boobs “look nothing like…
Trump Denies Drawing Epstein Letter, Says ‘I Never Wrote a Picture in My Life’ While Selling Another for $16K
President Trump denies ever drawing anything—even as signed sketches of suspiciously shapely skylines continue selling…
Trump Finally Agrees to Learn Chess After Realizing ‘4D’ Isn’t Just a Movie Format
Trump admits he doesn’t know how to play chess despite years of MAGA fans insisting…
Epstein Who? Trump Says He’s Just a ‘Teen Enthusiast’ And Really Into Pageants — ‘Totally Unrelated’
President Trump denies any connection to Epstein, insisting his interest in teen beauty pageants is…
Trump Installs Presidential Suite in Abandoned Alcatraz For His ‘Retirement’
Trump revamps Alcatraz as a beachfront federal facility “just in case,” sparking speculation it may…
Trump Sues Coca-Cola for Not Switching to Cane Sugar After Imaginary Conversation
President Trump files a lawsuit against Coca-Cola, claiming they broke a verbal agreement to replace…
Trump Diagnosed with Patriotic Obstruction Syndrome (POS) After Doctors Discover Too Much Freedom Trapped in His Legs
President Trump’s legs have swelled from an apparent overdose of “American pride,” prompting medics to…
Trump Appoints Diddy as Special Prosecutor for Epstein Files, Cites “Bad Boy for Life” as Proof of Tenacity
In a surprise move, President Trump named Sean “Diddy” Combs as Special Prosecutor to handle…
White House Says Americans Can Still Get Educational Content From YouTube Comments and Joe Rogan Clips
Trump defunds PBS and NPR, declares war on puppet-based learning. Big Bird to retrain as…
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