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Tag: Donald Trump
Donald Trump, America’s most famous fast-food philosopher and part-time golf course monarch, continues to redefine politics as a reality show no one asked for but everyone can’t stop watching. From courtroom reruns to campaign promises that sound like late-night infomercials, The Folly Times covers every twist, tantrum, and tweet-worthy moment. If it involves Trump, expect equal parts chaos, comedy, and cholesterol.
Is It Still a Shutdown If Nothing Worked Anyway?
As midnight looms, Congress debates whether to save the government or just finally unplug it.…
Hegseth Warns Military to ‘Stay Mission-Focused’ as Government Crumbles Like Biden’s Bike Balance
As the government faces a midnight shutdown, Pete Hegseth tells troops to rely on faith…
Trump Deploys ICE Boats to Hunt Undocumented Leprechauns in Chicago River
Armed ICE boats storm the Chicago River in search of undocumented leprechauns accused of “unlawful…
Trump Baffled After Learning Bailout for Argentina Somehow Benefits China: ‘Nobody Saw This Coming Except Everyone’
After a leaked text showed his Cabinet questioning the plan, Trump insisted the move was…
Did Rome Fall Like This Too?
When emperors run out of wisdom, they reach for scapegoats. Firing experts, raiding the treasury,…
5 Signs Your Mother Took Tylenol While Pregnant, According to Dr. Trump
President Trump, joined by Robert F. Kennedy Jr., warns Americans that prenatal Tylenol use could…
Trump Claims Nobel Peace Prize ‘Rigged,’ Says He’ll Make His Own Better One
After years of being ignored by the Nobel Committee, President Trump announces his own “Peace…
Wasn’t in the Playbook: Ex-NFL Star Quits FBI After Trump Calls Blitz on Immigrants
The ex-Bears legend says he joined to protect the country, not help the president call…
Trump Declassifies Amelia Earhart Files, Says ‘She Vanished, Just Like Epstein’s Client List’
Trump hails “historic transparency” on a 90-year-old mystery while steering clear of the island where…
After Trump Deports Millions, Modelo Sales Plummet, Michelob Ultra Crowned King of Bland
Trump’s deportations crushed Modelo sales, leaving Michelob Ultra to rule the nation’s beer aisle by…
Trump and Musk Reunite at Kirk Memorial, Bond Over Shared Love of Attention
The world’s two most attention-starved men rediscovered their chemistry at a funeral, proving nothing unites…
White House Says Autism ‘Solved’ After Trump Suggests Horses Rarely Get It
Trump blames Tylenol for autism, praises horse dewormer as miracle cure, and claims horses prove…
