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Tag: Donald Trump
Donald Trump, America’s most famous fast-food philosopher and part-time golf course monarch, continues to redefine politics as a reality show no one asked for but everyone can’t stop watching. From courtroom reruns to campaign promises that sound like late-night infomercials, The Folly Times covers every twist, tantrum, and tweet-worthy moment. If it involves Trump, expect equal parts chaos, comedy, and cholesterol.
ICE Runs Out of Uniforms, Tells Recruits to ‘Just Bring a Sheet With Eyeholes’
ICE’s record-breaking recruitment effort has outpaced supply chains, leading the agency to suggest new hires…
Trump Says He’ll ‘Probably’ Not Run Again, Opts to Rule as Supreme Leader Instead
Trump says he “probably” won’t run again, not because of term limits — but because…
Trump ‘Declassified’ Golf Scorecard, Says Losers ‘Just Don’t Golf at My Level’
Trump says his golf victory was so obvious it didn’t need counting, just “loyalty.”
Karoline Leavitt Denies Rumors of Trump Crush, Says Lips Only Fire Rounds at NPR and ‘Other Enemies of the People’
Trump says he loves her lips, she says they only shoot at NPR. America is…
Was That the Deep State? East Coast Earthquake Sends MAGA Into Full Conspiracy Meltdown
MAGA influencers melted down after a small earthquake hit New Jersey, blaming George Soros, climate…
Trump Administration Denies Creating All-Female Supervillain Team at Minimum-Security Prison
Trump denies any role in assembling America’s most delusional criminal dream team after Maxwell, Holmes,…
Lauren Boebert Named Head of Bureau of Labor Stats, Immediately Asks if ‘Payroll’ Is a Dog Breed
After firing the BLS commissioner, Trump taps Lauren Boebert to lead job reporting. Her first…
Trump Aces Presidential Fitness Test, Declares Himself ‘Most Jacked Commander-in-Chief in History’
Trump says he “aced” the revived Presidential Fitness Test. Officials say it involved shouting, stretching…
Trump’s Health Tracker App Sends Alerts if You’ve Eaten a Salad, Watched PBS or Doubted Jesus
Trump and RFK Jr. launch a new health app that monitors Americans for signs of…
Jerome Powell Reportedly Hiding in Utility Closet as Trump Circles Fed With Steak Knife
Fed Chair Jerome Powell reportedly hiding in closet as Trump storms the building demanding rate…
Hawley Announces Stimulus Plan to Refund You for the Inflation He Helped Create
Senator Josh Hawley’s proposed $600 tariff rebate checks spark confusion, joy, and a new economy…
Trump Accepts “Totally No-Strings” Jet Gift From Qatar, Pentagon Calls It ‘Free Trial of Influence’
Trump receives a used Boeing jet from Qatar, insists it’s “totally free” while taxpayers quietly…
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