Trump Declares War on Mattel to Protect America from Surprise Clowns and Cheap Springs
President Trump plans a 100 percent tariff on Mattel. Critics say it’s revenge for never getting a Jack-in-the-Box as a kid.…
Trump Furious New Pope Stole Spotlight from “YUGE” UK Trade Deal Announcement
Trump’s long-awaited UK trade deal was upstaged by white smoke from the Vatican announcing a new pope. He’s not taking it well.…
Trump Reaches Historic Trade Deal with Penguins and Seals, Declares Victory Over Heard and McDonald Islands
Trump claims he’s struck a deal with the penguins and seals of Heard and McDonald Islands. The animals have yet to comment. Or…
Trump Reopens Alcatraz, Clint Eastwood Delivers Sermon to Empty Cellblock
Trump brings back Alcatraz and invites Clint Eastwood to yell at an empty prison cell. Critics call it surreal; supporters call it “deeply…
Trump Announces 50% Tariff on Fun for Cinco de Mayo, Cites “Unfair Advantage in Joy Production”
Trump announces a 50% tariff on Cinco de Mayo celebrations, targeting margaritas, dancing, and joy. He calls it a necessary step to “protect…
Trump Declares Himself a Jedi Master on Star Wars Day, Says He Trained “Under a Very Powerful Guy Named Yoda, Great Guy”
Key Takeaways In the most Trump way possible to celebrate Star Wars Day, the former president held a press conference at Mar-a-Lago flanked…
Make the Vatican Great Again: Trump Declares Himself Pope
Trump posts AI image of himself as Pope days after Francis’ funeral, declares himself the new spiritual leader “with better robes and way…
Trump Supports Biden’s Pardon of Hunter, Hints at Pardoning His Own Children
President Biden's pardon of his son Hunter has sparked political debates, with former President Trump expressing support and hinting at similar actions for…
Trump Announces His Tariffs: 25% on Mexico and Canada, 10% on China — But MAGA Gear and Trump Bibles Are Exempt
Donald Trump has proposed tariffs on Mexico, Canada, and China effective January 2025, with exemptions for MAGA merchandise and Trump Bibles. Critics call…
Former President and Convicted Felon Donald Trump Wins 2024 Election
From fast-food fryer to the Oval Office — again.…
