America Faces Popcorn Shortage as Trump-Musk Feud Gets Salty
Movie nights and state fairs go off the rails as the Trump–Musk feud sparks an unprecedented popcorn shortage, leaving Americans to improvise with…
Zelenskyy Offers to Negotiate Peace Deal Between Trump and Musk
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy offers to mediate peace talks between President Trump and Elon Musk, hoping juice boxes and playground rules can keep…
Trump and Musk’s Explosive Breakup Hits X-Rated Levels: Epstein Files, EV Mandates, and Exile
Trump and Musk have gone from allies to enemies in record time, with threats, secrets, and wild accusations filling everyone’s feed. Congress is…
Biden Autopen Faces Congress: Will It Get a Pension or a Perjury Charge?
Congress is investigating whether Joe Biden’s autopen deserves a presidential pension, a prime spot at the Smithsonian, or a day in court. Trump…
Trump’s New Travel Ban: “It’s Totally Not About Skin Color”
Trump’s administration issues a sweeping travel ban targeting 12 mostly black and brown countries, swearing it’s all “coincidence” and not at all about…
Trump’s “America First” Official Accidentally Outsources State Department to Moscow
Darren Beattie, Trump’s new State Department pick, ditches the Russia-watchdog, then hosts a ballet and caviar party for staff. Putin might finally get…
FEMA Chief Admits He Didn’t Know Hurricanes Had a “Season,” Agency Morale Now at Category Five
FEMA’s new leader baffled staff after admitting he didn’t realize the US has a hurricane season. Employees now rate internal confusion at Category…
Trump Privately Wonders if Supreme Court Nominations Came with Return Policy
President Trump is reportedly venting about his Supreme Court nominations, focusing his ire on Justice Amy Coney Barrett after rulings that didn’t match…
Trump Warns: If Courts Rule Against Tariffs, ‘Economic Ruination’ Looms
Trump warns on Truth Social that overturning tariffs will lead to America’s economic doom. Experts say: maybe just chill bro.…
‘I Am Like Totally NOT Taking Drugs,’ Says Musk, While Blinking in Morse Code
Elon Musk says he’s “NOT taking drugs,” despite black eye, bizarre behavior, and a farewell appearance that looked like an intergalactic exit interview.…
