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Tag: Donald Trump
Donald Trump, America’s most famous fast-food philosopher and part-time golf course monarch, continues to redefine politics as a reality show no one asked for but everyone can’t stop watching. From courtroom reruns to campaign promises that sound like late-night infomercials, The Folly Times covers every twist, tantrum, and tweet-worthy moment. If it involves Trump, expect equal parts chaos, comedy, and cholesterol.
Trump Denies Drawing Epstein Letter, Says ‘I Never Wrote a Picture in My Life’ While Selling Another for $16K
President Trump denies ever drawing anything—even as signed sketches of suspiciously shapely skylines continue selling…
Trump Finally Agrees to Learn Chess After Realizing ‘4D’ Isn’t Just a Movie Format
Trump admits he doesn’t know how to play chess despite years of MAGA fans insisting…
Epstein Who? Trump Says He’s Just a ‘Teen Enthusiast’ And Really Into Pageants — ‘Totally Unrelated’
President Trump denies any connection to Epstein, insisting his interest in teen beauty pageants is…
Trump Installs Presidential Suite in Abandoned Alcatraz For His ‘Retirement’
Trump revamps Alcatraz as a beachfront federal facility “just in case,” sparking speculation it may…
Trump Sues Coca-Cola for Not Switching to Cane Sugar After Imaginary Conversation
President Trump files a lawsuit against Coca-Cola, claiming they broke a verbal agreement to replace…
Trump Diagnosed with Patriotic Obstruction Syndrome (POS) After Doctors Discover Too Much Freedom Trapped in His Legs
President Trump’s legs have swelled from an apparent overdose of “American pride,” prompting medics to…
Trump Appoints Diddy as Special Prosecutor for Epstein Files, Cites “Bad Boy for Life” as Proof of Tenacity
In a surprise move, President Trump named Sean “Diddy” Combs as Special Prosecutor to handle…
White House Says Americans Can Still Get Educational Content From YouTube Comments and Joe Rogan Clips
Trump defunds PBS and NPR, declares war on puppet-based learning. Big Bird to retrain as…
Coca-Cola to Release ‘Founders Formula’ After Trump Suggests Original Recipe Was “Peak Capitalism”
After a Trump Truth Social post praising the 1886 Coca-Cola recipe, the soda giant announces…
Trump: “We Have Zero Inflation, Zero Border Crossings, and Zero Epstein Clients. You’re Welcome.”
Trump says there are zero Epstein clients, zero inflation, and zero illegal crossings. “That’s not…
Trump Disavows Epstein Truthers: “I Only Want the Support of Gullible Idiots Who Don’t Read or Think”
Trump calls Epstein story a Democrat hoax, declares he no longer wants the support of…
Faith Office Lunch Derails After Trump Declares Himself New Apostle
Trump shocked religious leaders at a White House luncheon by proclaiming himself the 13th Apostle,…
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