Donald Trump Archives — the Folly Times

Trump in suit awkwardly holding a sports medal

Trump Aces Presidential Fitness Test, Declares Himself ‘Most Jacked Commander-in-Chief in History’

Trump says he “aced” the revived Presidential Fitness Test. Officials say it involved shouting, stretching incorrectly, and threatening a pull-up bar.…

Trump and Robert F. Kennedy Jr. smiling during White House event

Trump’s Health Tracker App Sends Alerts if You’ve Eaten a Salad, Watched PBS or Doubted Jesus

Trump and RFK Jr. launch a new health app that monitors Americans for signs of kale, PBS, and Jesus doubt.…

Donald Trump and Jerome Powell in hard hats at Federal Reserve construction site

Jerome Powell Reportedly Hiding in Utility Closet as Trump Circles Fed With Steak Knife

Fed Chair Jerome Powell reportedly hiding in closet as Trump storms the building demanding rate cuts “or else.”…

Senator Josh Hawley speaking to a reporter in a government hallway

Hawley Announces Stimulus Plan to Refund You for the Inflation He Helped Create

Senator Josh Hawley’s proposed $600 tariff rebate checks spark confusion, joy, and a new economy based entirely on Trump-themed bullion.…

Donald Trump waving next to used Qatari Boeing jet intended as Air Force One

Trump Accepts “Totally No-Strings” Jet Gift From Qatar, Pentagon Calls It ‘Free Trial of Influence’

Trump receives a used Boeing jet from Qatar, insists it’s “totally free” while taxpayers quietly fund $400M in upgrades and missile-powered cup holders.…

Donald Trump walks away from helicopter with fist raised and wind-blown hair

Trump Exposes Deep State, Installs Even Deeper State ‘With Better Loyalty, Better Hats’

Trump claims victory over the Deep State and replaces it with something murkier, crawlier, and slightly damper — the Deeper State.…

President Trump shouting in front of a field of wind turbines and sheep

Trump Says Windmills Cause Tornadoes: “You Spin Something That Big, What Do You Expect?”

Trump blames wind turbines for causing tornadoes, migraines, and “atmospheric disrespect,” promises to return to energy sources that don’t “spin or swirl.”…

Trump Announces AI Bot That Only Answers with Trump Quotes, Spelling Errors Included

Trump launches new AI bot trained exclusively on his quotes and fast food orders, accidentally declares war on Roombas…

Donald Trump smiles and raises his fist while stepping off Air Force One

Trump Flees Epstein Questions, Lands in Scotland to Negotiate Golf Cart Tariff With EU

Trump lands in Scotland to escape Epstein questions and discuss golf cart tariffs with confused EU officials.…

Trump and Jerome Powell wearing hard hats and reviewing renovation blueprints during Federal Reserve site visit

Trump Points at Random Blueprint, Demands Powell Justify Every Dollar Spent on a Staircase

During a visit to the Fed headquarters, Trump questioned the cost of a staircase and demanded Jerome Powell explain its financial conduct.…

Donald Trump

Trump Aces Presidential Fitness Test, Declares Himself ‘Most Jacked Commander-in-Chief in History’

Trump’s Health Tracker App Sends Alerts if You’ve Eaten a Salad, Watched PBS or Doubted Jesus

Jerome Powell Reportedly Hiding in Utility Closet as Trump Circles Fed With Steak Knife

Hawley Announces Stimulus Plan to Refund You for the Inflation He Helped Create

Trump Accepts “Totally No-Strings” Jet Gift From Qatar, Pentagon Calls It ‘Free Trial of Influence’

Trump Exposes Deep State, Installs Even Deeper State ‘With Better Loyalty, Better Hats’

Trump Says Windmills Cause Tornadoes: “You Spin Something That Big, What Do You Expect?”

Trump Announces AI Bot That Only Answers with Trump Quotes, Spelling Errors Included

Trump Flees Epstein Questions, Lands in Scotland to Negotiate Golf Cart Tariff With EU

Trump Points at Random Blueprint, Demands Powell Justify Every Dollar Spent on a Staircase

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