Former President Donald Trump, the entrepreneur with hair as iconic as his tweets, decided to delve into the necromantic art of comedy. His latest target? The late Senator John McCain, whose military service included a stint as a POW, an experience Trump humorously critiques as a career misstep.
Trump’s Guide to Heroic Departures
“Folks, let me tell you about heroes,” Trump began at a rally, his voice booming with the confidence of a man who’s never seen the inside of a POW camp, nor, for that matter, any military service. “I like heroes who don’t get captured, okay? But John, he took it a step further. He got captured by life, and then, get this, he didn’t die in action! I mean, what’s the deal with that? If you’re going to go, go out with a bang, not a whimper!”
The Afterlife According to Trump
The crowd, a mix of gasps, laughter, and the occasional bewildered look, watched as Trump paced the stage, his hands orchestrating an opera of incredulity. “I mean, if you’re going to do something, do it right. You get captured by life, fine, but then you come back in spirit, maybe haunt a house or something. Now that’s commitment! John? He just decided to check out. No return, no haunting, just ‘greener pastures’ or ‘perhaps not greener,’ but I’m happy he’s moved on. Very happy.”
A Funeral Critique: Never Ending Like His Wars
Trump’s comedic timing was as controversial as his policies, but there he was, turning the solemn respect usually reserved for war heroes into a punchline. “And his funeral? Just like his wars, it never ended. I gave him the kind of funeral he wanted, which as president, I had to approve. Didn’t get a thank you, but that’s okay. We sent him on his way, but let’s be honest, I wasn’t a fan.”
The Satire of Survival
This peculiar blend of reverence and ridicule might leave one pondering the essence of Trump’s humor. Was it a critique of the hero worship culture, or just a brash, unfiltered commentary lacking the empathy chip most humans come installed with? Here, in this universe where every subject is fair game, Trump’s comments on McCain serve as a bizarre testament to his unique brand of communication.
Death, Taxes, and Trump’s Commentary
In this grand comedy of life and death, where, according to Trump, “You’ve got to keep moving, keep tweeting, and for heaven’s sake, try not to get captured by anything, including death, believe me, and I know. Someone tried to shoot my ear off!” every event, no matter how somber, becomes fodder for the next big laugh. Here, even the final curtain call isn’t safe from Trump’s spotlight.
