Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. has announced that he will be running for president in 2024. Kennedy, who is the nephew of America’s 35th President John F. Kennedy, and the son of his Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy, stated that he is running for office for several reasons, including his commitment to environmental causes and children’s welfare. However, sources close to Kennedy say that his main motivation for running is that he has too many children and ex-wives and hopes to keep the Kennedy family tradition of being assassinated going.
Kennedy, who has been married three times and has a total of seven children, reportedly confided in a close friend that he is tired of paying alimony and child support and believes that becoming president would be a great way to avoid those obligations. “Look, I love my kids, but let’s face it, they’re expensive,” Kennedy allegedly said. “And with two ex-wives, I’m practically broke. Becoming president and getting assassinated is the only way I can afford to support them. I took out a nice life insurance policy.”
When asked about his platform, Kennedy rattled off a list of issues that he is passionate about, including climate change, income inequality, and healthcare. But when pressed further, he admitted that his main focus would be on making sure that he doesn’t have to pay any more alimony or child support.
“I’m not going to lie, that’s my top priority,” Kennedy said. “But hey, if I can also do some good for the environment and make healthcare more accessible before being assassinated, that’s just a bonus.”
Kennedy’s announcement has been met with mixed reactions. Some have criticized him for using the presidency as a way to avoid financial obligations, while others have praised him for his honesty.
“He’s just being real,” said one supporter. “I mean, who wouldn’t want to be president if it meant they didn’t have to pay alimony?” Kennedy’s campaign has just begun, but it remains to be seen if his platform will resonate with voters or if his personal motivations will overshadow his message.
