Mar-a-Lago, Florida – Former President Donald Trump was caught off guard and in the midst of a delicious burger dinner when he received the shocking news that he has been indicted in connection to his 2016 presidential campaign.
According to sources close to Trump, the news hit him like a ton of bricks, causing him to grab the nearest condiments and unleash his anger on the dining room wall. Witnesses say that he flung ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise all over the elegant wallpaper, causing a mess that will take hours to clean up.
“He was in disbelief,” said one insider. “He couldn’t believe they would come after him like this. He was just trying to Make America Great Again.”
Trump’s staff quickly attempted to clean up the mess, but it was too late. The wall was now ruined and the dining room was in shambles. Trump reportedly stormed out of the room, leaving his unfinished burger on the table.
It’s unclear how Trump will handle the indictment, but sources say that he’s already planning his defense. He’s reportedly assembling a team of lawyers, including Rudy Giuliani and Alan Dershowitz, to fight the charges.
In the meantime, Mar-a-Lago staff are left to deal with the aftermath of Trump’s outburst. They’re currently working to repair the wall and remove the stains from the carpet.
As for Trump’s burger, it’s unclear if he ever got to finish it. But one thing’s for sure – it’s a meal he’ll never forget.
