WASHINGTON D.C. – Just when we thought the digital age couldn’t get more unpredictable, Donald Trump Jr.’s X (formerly Twitter) account saga takes a sharp, jet-fueled turn. Fresh from lamenting his “hacked” social media account which falsely announced the passing of his father, Don Jr. has now pointed fingers at the very same hackers who recently took a joyride with an F-35 fighter jet.
“Why would hackers stop at my X account when they can fly a $90 million jet?” he rhetorically asked at an impromptu press conference outside his gym. “I’ve always said, my tweets are as powerful as an F-35, and now it’s been proven.”
Inside sources suggest that during the hack, apart from controversial tweets, the hackers also allegedly tried to link the jet to Don Jr.’s personal Uber account. “They thought it’d be funny to see if I’d accept a $2 million ‘ride’ charge,” he quipped.
Critics were quick to weigh in. “Don Jr.’s tweets might crash and burn like an F-35 without its landing gear,” said one tech blogger, “but linking these two hacks is a flight of fantasy!”
However, Don Jr. remains convinced of the connection. “Look, if they can hack a state-of-the-art fighter jet, sneaking into my X account is like breaking into a paper bag,” he reasoned.
The Pentagon is yet to comment on this explosive claim, but rumor has it that they are considering stronger cybersecurity measures, including consulting with Don Jr. about safe password practices.
In related news, sales of tinfoil have skyrocketed as citizens hope to deter potential hackers.