The Biden administration has introduced its latest brainchild – “Bidenomics: Get Rich Slowly.” President Joe Biden, flanked by his team of economic advisors, unveiled the master plan at a press conference held on the steps of the U.S. Treasury building.
“Let me be clear,” Biden began, “We are taking a fresh approach to economic prosperity. Forget about quick fixes, instant gratification, and overnight wealth. With Bidenomics, we’re embracing the philosophy of ‘patience is a virtue’ and ‘slow and steady wins the race.'”
The core of the Bidenomics plan revolves around printing trillion-dollar bills with invisible ink. This ingenious idea, according to Treasury Secretary, is designed to prevent inflation by making sure no one can see the money. “When you can’t see it, you can’t spend it, right?” he chuckled, explaining the rationale.
Naturally, some skeptics questioned the practicality of invisible currency. When pressed about the logistics of using see-through cash, Press Secretary Jen Psaki reassured the nation with her trademark confidence, “We’re working on that. Rest assured, we’ll figure out a way for you to feel rich even if you can’t see it in your bank account.”
Under Bidenomics, the government is also promoting its “Everyone’s a Millionaire” program. Under this program, every American citizen will receive a one-million-dollar bill in the mail. Of course, this bill, like all others, will be in invisible ink. The White House believes this will create a powerful psychological effect, boosting consumer confidence and fostering a sense of wealth even when it’s not visible.
The president’s economic advisors have also been busy convincing the American people that paying off the national debt is overrated. “Why rush to be debt-free when you can just pretend it doesn’t exist?” one advisor declared. “Bidenomics takes a Zen-like approach to national debt, encouraging the American people to embrace the ‘art of not thinking about it.'”
When confronted with the potential consequences of such a radical economic plan, the administration was unfazed. “We’ve run the numbers,” Biden replied, “and our economists are confident that we can handle an unlimited amount of invisible debt. It’s like magic. You just don’t see it, and it doesn’t exist.”
Republicans, predictably, have voiced strong opposition to the Bidenomics proposal. Senator Mitch McConnell called it “a fantasy-driven, fiscally irresponsible endeavor that will turn the U.S. Economy into a mirage.” In response, the administration brushed off the criticism, insisting that the Republican Party simply lacks the vision to grasp the brilliance of invisible money.
Time will tell how effective Bidenomics will be in shaping the nation’s economy. Until then, Americans are encouraged to remain patient, keep their eyes peeled for invisible bills in the mail, and believe in the magic of economic prosperity through the power of invisibility.
