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Biden Scoops Up Support with Free Ice Cream Campaign, Promises to Keep Bedtime Before 8pm

Joe Biden enjoying a delicious waffle cone and ice cream.

Joe Biden has declared his intention to run for President of the United States once again in 2024. His campaign slogan, “A Scoop for Every American,” promises to provide free ice cream for all citizens if he is elected.

Biden, who will be 82 years old by the time of the election, cited his love for ice cream as the inspiration for his platform. “I’ve always said that there’s nothing that a good scoop of ice cream can’t fix,” he said in a statement. “And if I’m elected, I’m going to make sure every American has access to that kind of comfort and joy.”

The former Vice President also promised not to campaign too late into the evening, citing his need for an early bedtime. “I don’t like to stay up too late these days,” he said. “I usually hit the hay around 7:30 or 8, so I’m not going to be out there knocking on doors after dinner.”

Despite his focus on frozen treats, Biden also has some serious political ambitions. He has pledged to tackle issues such as climate change and income inequality, and has promised to appoint a diverse and experienced Cabinet.

“I may be a lover of ice cream, but I’m also a fighter for the American people,” he said. “I’ve spent my entire career working to make this country a better place, and I’m not going to stop now.”

Biden’s announcement has already generated a lot of buzz on social media, with many people expressing their excitement at the prospect of free ice cream. However, some have raised concerns about the feasibility of such a policy, and have questioned whether it is really the most pressing issue facing the country.

Regardless of the outcome of the election, one thing is clear: Joe Biden’s love for ice cream is here to stay. Whether he is President or just an average citizen, you can be sure he’ll always have a scoop or two at the ready.

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