New York, NY – Former President Donald Trump has reportedly been ordered to attend a lecture on how not to violate evidence disclosure rules after repeatedly attacking witnesses in his ongoing criminal case. The lecture, which will be delivered via video, will cover topics such as “How to Keep Your Twitter Fingers in Check” and “The Art of Shutting Up When You’re Supposed to Shut Up.”
Sources close to Trump say that he is less than thrilled about the prospect of attending the lecture, which he has described as “boring” and “low energy.” However, he has agreed to participate after being warned that he risks being held in contempt if he doesn’t comply.
In response to the news, Trump took to Twitter to express his frustration. “I can’t believe they’re making me do this. It’s a total witch hunt!” he tweeted. “But don’t worry, folks. I’ll be taking notes so I can teach Sleepy Joe a thing or two about how to handle himself in court.”
Legal experts say that Trump’s behavior in this case is not surprising, given his history of attacking those who oppose him. “It’s like he can’t help himself,” said one expert. “Every time he opens his mouth, he digs himself deeper into a hole. If only he could learn to keep his mouth shut, he might have a chance.”
Despite the lecture, Trump’s legal troubles are far from over. He faces multiple criminal investigations and a recent defamation case for which he was found liable for $5 million in damages. But for now, at least, he will have to sit through a lecture on how to behave himself in court.
