Former Superman D-List actor Dean Cain has joined ICE to help deport migrants, sparking confusion, concern, and absolutely zero Emmy buzz.…
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ICE’s record-breaking recruitment effort has outpaced supply chains, leading the agency to suggest new hires “just bring a sheet” while promising more gear “eventually.”…
ESPN and NFL Network Announce New Streaming Tier: $89.99/Month to Watch Your Team Lose in Peace
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ESPN’s new $89.99 tier lets you stream just your favorite team’s embarrassing losses, now with extra zoom on fumbles.…
Trump says he “probably” won’t run again, not because of term limits — but because he’s chosen to rule forever.…
The government’s buyout plan created a “do-nothing” dream job — and Gen Z is here for it.…
Nancy Mace launches her campaign for South Carolina governor by vowing to ban pronouns, books, and possibly weather patterns…
Trump says his golf victory was so obvious it didn’t need counting, just “loyalty.”…
Ted Cruz says Biden never spoke to him in four years. Americans briefly appreciate Biden’s self-control.…
In response to a string of sex toy tosses during games, the WNBA embraces chaos with “Bring Your Own Dildo” Night.…
Trump says he loves her lips, she says they only shoot at NPR. America is confused but intrigued.…
MAGA influencers melted down after a small earthquake hit New Jersey, blaming George Soros, climate lasers, and “woke fault lines.”…
Trump Administration Denies Creating All-Female Supervillain Team at Minimum-Security Prison
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Trump denies any role in assembling America’s most delusional criminal dream team after Maxwell, Holmes, and Shah land in the same minimum-security prison.…

Our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost.
Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper the media. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle.
-Thomas Jefferson