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Trump Puts Name on Institute of Peace, Says Nobel Prize Now ‘Basically Required by Law’
Trump renamed the U.S. Institute of Peace after himself during an ongoing legal fight, creating a strange scene where a peace center saw…
White House Cuts MPG Standards After Trump Says 50 MPG ‘Sounds Communist’
The White House cut fuel economy rules after Trump claimed 50 mpg “sounds communist.” Supporters praise lower prices while critics warn of long…
Mike Lindell Not Done Losing, Will Try Minnesota Next
Mike Lindell filed to run for Minnesota governor in 2026 even as lawsuits, denials, and failed crusades follow him. His campaign begins with…
Court Clarifies Alabama Is Now Allowed Two Losses Per Game, Still Eligible for Playoff Spot
The Supreme Court ruled Alabama may take two losses per game and still qualify for the playoff. The decision expands SEC favoritism into…
Dells Drop $6.25 Billion Into Trump Accounts, Say It’s the Only Way Kids Will Ever Afford Rent
Michael and Susan Dell donated $6.25 billion to Trump Accounts for children, a move praised as visionary yet also a sign of how…
Costco Tells Supreme Court It Cannot Run America on Kirkland Alone
Costco told the Supreme Court that Trump’s tariffs forced the country to rely on Kirkland substitutes and now seeks refunds to escape its…
Trump Brags His MRI Shows ‘Most Powerful Organ,’ Won’t Specify Which One He Means
Trump teased the release of MRI results but admitted he is unsure which body part was scanned, deepening public confusion and fueling fresh…
Horoscopes: Week of December 1, 2025
The planets enter the week in full chaos mode, leaving every zodiac sign scrambling for clarity, snacks, and emotional stability. See what cosmic…
Report Finds Trump Family Totally Innocent After Being Reviewed by Trump Family
A new Trump family ethics report praises the Trump family after a review done entirely by the Trump family. Eric Trump calls the…
New White House ‘Media Bias’ Page Lists Reporters Who “Hurt Trump’s Feelings This Week”
The White House launched a Media Bias webpage that ranks reporters by how much they hurt Trump’s feelings. Offenses include tone, math, and…
Melania Launches Film Studio, Promises Original Stories “Never Before Told by Michelle Obama”
Melania Trump unveils her new film studio and a biopic that viewers say feels oddly familiar. She swears MELANIA is fully original, even…
Survey Finds Chicagoans Trust Shirtless Ben Johnson More Than Any Elected Official
Bears coach Ben Johnson ripped his shirt off after beating the Eagles, triggering a Wieners Circle free hot dog day and the strangest…
Study Finds Lions Fans Age Four Years Every Holiday Broadcast
A new study finds that watching the Lions lose on Thanksgiving can burn up to 600 calories through pure secondhand sadness and holiday…
Officials Beg Macy’s To Shrink Parade Balloons As Helium Prices Explode
Officials say the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade drained so much helium that hospitals and labs briefly ran low. Economists blame giant cartoon balloons…
Is It Even Thanksgiving If Someone Did Not Get Lost In Costco For Hours?
A new study finds Thanksgiving shoppers spend hours lost inside Costco and return with everything except the item they were sent for. Families…
Pilgrims Would Have Cancelled First Thanksgiving If They Knew About Your Aunt Karen
New “research” reveals the Pilgrims would have skipped the first Thanksgiving if they knew about your Aunt Karen, whose modern table rants make…
U.S. Reaches Peak Unity: Both Sides Equally Outraged, Equally Confused, Equally Screaming At Bots In Thailand
X’s new location feature just revealed that many loudest “patriots” and “resisters” are bots posting from overseas. For one brief moment, left and…
U.S. Denies Writing Ukraine Peace Proposal, Rubio Denies Reading It, Trump Denies Denying Anything
Geneva negotiators scramble to explain a leaked Ukraine peace plan that nobody wants to claim. Rubio insists he only carried it, Trump sets…
FAA Advises Thanksgiving Flyers To Arrive At Airport Three Days Early ‘To Be Safe’
FAA officials recommend arriving three days early for Thanksgiving flights, calling it the safest way to survive holiday chaos without breaking down.
Horoscopes: Week of November 24, 2025
The planets are fully unhinged this week, turning minor tasks into heroic quests and ordinary emotions into full-blown cinematic sagas. Every sign gets…
MTG Quits Congress, Says God Told Her ‘Girl, This Is Getting Embarrassing’
Marjorie Taylor Greene says she is leaving Congress rather than face a Trump fueled primary, blaming a broken GOP, a bored leadership, and…
Congress Boldly Rejects Socialism, Forgets Medicare, Highways, And Half Their Own Pensions
Congress condemned socialism in a major vote even as lawmakers continued using every public benefit tied to it. The move mixed bold messaging…
Bible Mentions St. Paul 195 Times, No Reference To Minneapolis
Researchers confirm the Bible references Saint Paul many times but never mentions Minneapolis. The discovery has baffled scholars and annoyed Minnesotans.
DOJ Promises Full Epstein File Release, Just Needs 30 Days To “Windex the Trump Parts”
Officials say the Epstein files will be fully released within thirty days, giving the department time to tidy anything that might cause political…
October Jobs Report Canceled, Nation Encouraged To Assume It Was Fine
The Labor Department canceled the October jobs report and told Americans to guess the numbers. Economists recommend choosing a figure that feels optimistic.
Experts Confirm THC Safer Than Alcohol, Meth, and Most Prescriptions, Congress Immediately Bans THC
Experts say THC looks safer than alcohol, meth, and many prescription drugs, so Congress quietly moved to choke the hemp market and rescue…
Fans Blinded by the Thigh After Sophie Cunningham’s ‘Dangerously Hot’ Pic Drops
Sophie Cunningham posted a glamorous thigh flashing photo that sent fans into a frenzy. Sun Cruiser sales jumped as viewers begged for sunglasses…
Our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost.
Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper the media. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle.
-Thomas Jefferson
