Kid burns through savings on gum balls, files bankruptcy in crayon, now seeking bailout in coins and cuddles.…
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Trump administration pulls plug on Harvard’s foreign students, citing too much international thinking and not enough ‘America First’ GPA curves.…
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Trump’s spokeswoman says it’s absurd to think he’s profiting off the presidency, then immediately sells $95 towels and probably your dignity.…
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Rep. Nancy Mace may have used naked photos to extort homes from her ex, but don’t worry—she still found time to write bot code and make Congress way weirder.…
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North Korea’s newest warship launches early, immediately self-destructs, and achieves tactical embarrassment.…
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Trump’s One Big Beautiful Bill passes by one vote, making history and ensuring toddlers can now invest tax-free in freedom.…
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Woman writes in after her husband tries to “vote out” doing the dishes following Survivor finale.…
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Boycotters demand equity from Walmart, but still rely on it for shampoo, socks, and existential dread.…
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Robert Kiyosaki has declared the end of the economy again, this time because the Fed bought bonds and didn’t invite him. Gold, silver, and Bitcoin are apparently our only salvation. Again.…
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Matt Gaetz confused Trump’s “Golden Dome” missile plan with something wildly inappropriate and still tried to join the project. America sighed in unison.…
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In a Senate hearing, Secretary Kristi Noem boldly redefined a 700-year-old legal concept in a way that made even the Constitution consider ghosting.…
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Citing “grit, determination, and an inconvenient bladder,” a 34-year-old man has decided he is now an authority on productivity after accidentally waking up at 6:41 AM.…
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Our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost.
Nothing can now be believed which is seen in a newspaper the media. Truth itself becomes suspicious by being put into that polluted vehicle.
-Thomas Jefferson