Louvre officials say the crown was stolen, Trump says it was “underutilized.”
After losing the Nobel Peace Prize, Trump vows “beautiful, precision-style diplomacy” against Norway. Officials call it “peace through air superiority.”
After a leaked text showed his Cabinet questioning the plan, Trump insisted the move was “genius economics.” Experts called it “feeding your rival dessert first.”
At Windsor Castle, Trump quizzed King Charles about crowns, thrones, and brand options. The visit turned into a crash course in monarchy, plus a light sales pitch.
Trump’s UK visit turned into a streaming event as Windsor Castle became a true crime billboard. Protesters projected Epstein photos larger than life.
Levi’s, Coke, and McDonald’s are watching foreign customers abandon them in droves. Trump calls it winning, but the rest of the world calls it “finally upgrading.”
Donald Trump accused Xi, Putin, and Kim of conspiring against America during a Beijing parade. Sources say they were simply debating which Trump golf course buffet had the best crab legs.
Trump dismisses Xi’s biggest diplomatic event as “Costco without muffins” while world leaders eat stale canapés.
Days after shaking hands in Alaska, Putin sent missiles at an American-owned factory in Ukraine. Trump called it “leverage,” proving peace talks may now include heavy bombing.
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