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All the Latest in World
Trump Declares Victory After Signing Deal That Solves Problems He Created
Trump touts his latest “historic” deal as a triumph of negotiation, ignoring that it mostly reverses his own tariffs. Experts call it the most expensive handshake in history.
Trump Denies Stealing Crown, Says Louvre’s Security ‘Should Have Been Stronger, Like My Poll Numbers’
Louvre officials say the crown was stolen, Trump says it was “underutilized.”
Trump Threatens to Bomb Nobel Peace Prize Committee Until They ‘See Peace His Way’
After losing the Nobel Peace Prize, Trump vows “beautiful, precision-style diplomacy” against Norway. Officials call it “peace through air superiority.”
Trump Baffled After Learning Bailout for Argentina Somehow Benefits China: ‘Nobody Saw This Coming Except Everyone’
After a leaked text showed his Cabinet questioning the plan, Trump insisted the move was “genius economics.” Experts called it “feeding your rival dessert first.”
Trump Asks King Charles If Crown Comes in MAGA Red
At Windsor Castle, Trump quizzed King Charles about crowns, thrones, and brand options. The visit turned into a crash course in monarchy, plus a light sales pitch.
Windsor Castle Joins Streaming Wars, Debuts New True Crime Docuseries on Its Walls
Trump’s UK visit turned into a streaming event as Windsor Castle became a true crime billboard. Protesters projected Epstein photos larger than life.
Global Shoppers Punish U.S. Over Trump Tariffs, Finally Try Jeans That Fit
Levi’s, Coke, and McDonald’s are watching foreign customers abandon them in droves. Trump calls it winning, but the rest of the world calls it “finally upgrading.”
Sources Confirm Xi, Putin, Kim Were Actually Discussing Which Trump Golf Course Has Best Buffet
Donald Trump accused Xi, Putin, and Kim of conspiring against America during a Beijing parade. Sources say they were simply debating which Trump golf course buffet had the best crab legs.
Trump Says U.S. Skipped Summit Because ‘We Already Have Costco, Much Bigger Than SCO’
Trump dismisses Xi’s biggest diplomatic event as “Costco without muffins” while world leaders eat stale canapés.
