A new poll shows Americans reject polling itself, leaving researchers trapped in a paradox where every answer only proves the opposite point.
Trump is scrambling to keep the Epstein files sealed, warning that transparency would shatter America’s trust in its billionaire class. Because nothing says “national security” like shrimp cocktails and private jet flight logs.
Officials warn ocean now 60% water, 40% Chipotle runoff. East Coast tourists shrug off fecal contamination warnings because nothing says summer’s end like pretending sewage is sunscreen.
Superman once fought Lex Luthor. Now he’s fighting joint inflammation. Dean Cain’s short-lived ICE career proves that even caped heroes aren’t immune to workplace injuries, paperwork confusion, and the devastating power of gravity.
Trump’s disappearance wasn’t a health scare — it was a ribbon-cutting ceremony for the new “Trump Youth Jobs Program” on Epstein Island. Officials insist it’s about opportunity, not optics, though the program’s only…
Two firefighters were arrested for immigration violations while the 9,000-acre Bear Gulch Fire kept burning. Officials reassured the public that deportation quotas are being met, even if containment goals are not.
Trump has demanded RICO charges against George and Alex Soros, accusing them of running a “protest cartel” that allegedly controls chants, poster board, and megaphones. Even Sharpie sales are now suspicious.
Trump wants America to take a 10% stake in Cracker Barrel just like Intel. In his words, biscuits are “a matter of national security.” The plan involves rocking chairs, gravy bonds, and a…
Trump has declared war on flag burners, but the First Amendment may burn him back. Legal experts say this could trigger the biggest free speech showdown in decades, while everyday Americans wonder if…
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