Notification
Search
Have an existing account?
Sign In
All the Latest in U.S.
Trump Declares DOT ‘Woke,’ Rebrands It as the ‘Department of Trump’
Trump scraps the Department of Transportation name in favor of his own brand, claiming the bold rebrand will cut costs and “make roads great again.” Expect toll plazas with gold trim and loyalty…
Trump Says New ‘Rose Garden Club Needs Girls and More of Those Good Old Epstein Vibes’
Trump unveiled his “Rose Garden Club” with senators and donors, then ruined the ambiance by joking about Epstein like it was open mic night.
Kristi Noem’s Rolex Costs More Than Every Inmate’s Commissary Balance Combined
Kristi Noem wore a $50K Rolex while threatening inmates at the new “Louisiana Lockup” ICE facility. Her luxury accessory outshined even the prison floodlights.
Pentagon Rebrand to ‘War’ Expected to Save $350.56 in Letterhead Costs
Trump insists “defense” was too woke, renaming the Pentagon to the Department of War. Officials highlight $350.56 in savings on government letterhead ink.
RFK Jr’s Brain Worm Delivers Stronger Testimony Than RFK Jr
Senate hearings are supposed to reveal the truth, but nobody expected it to come from a parasite freeloading in Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s head. The worm spoke with authority while its host fumbled,…
Majority of Americans Don’t Trust Polls, According to Poll They Don’t Trust
A new poll shows Americans reject polling itself, leaving researchers trapped in a paradox where every answer only proves the opposite point.
Trump Warns Opening Epstein Files Will “Destroy America’s Faith in Billionaires, Private Jets, and Secret Islands”
Trump is scrambling to keep the Epstein files sealed, warning that transparency would shatter America’s trust in its billionaire class. Because nothing says “national security” like shrimp cocktails and private jet flight logs.
East Coast Beaches Issue ‘Poop Alerts’ Just in Time for Labor Day Fun
Officials warn ocean now 60% water, 40% Chipotle runoff. East Coast tourists shrug off fecal contamination warnings because nothing says summer’s end like pretending sewage is sunscreen.
Dean Cain Joins ICE, Immediately Realizes He Actually Just Needs Ice for His Injury
Superman once fought Lex Luthor. Now he’s fighting joint inflammation. Dean Cain’s short-lived ICE career proves that even caped heroes aren’t immune to workplace injuries, paperwork confusion, and the devastating power of gravity.
Recent Articles
