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Man Forgets Why He Walked Into Room, Becomes Mayor| Local Woman Claims Microwave Beep Is Passive-Aggressive| Area Dad Buys 14-Foot Ladder, Nothing Left to Prove| Surgeon General Warns Against Reheating Fish at Work| Pet Lizard Named Regional Sales Director in Restructuring| Ghost Haunting Basement Just Lonely, Wants to Be in Book Club| “It’s Not You, It’s Mercury in Retrograde,” Says Breakup Text| Toddler Declares Bankruptcy After Spree at Gumball Machine| Florida Man Wins Lawsuit Against Gravity| Man Trapped in Group Text Since 2018, Sends Final SOS| AI Predicts Own Doom, Correctly Schedules HR Exit Interview| Emotional Support Squirrel Rejected by TSA, Starts Podcast| Woman on Zoom Call Wears Pajamas of Increasing Power| Conspiracy Theorist Discovers He’s Actually Just Bad at Puzzles| Coffee Shop Declares Independence, Prints Own Currency Man Forgets Why He Walked Into Room, Becomes Mayor| Local Woman Claims Microwave Beep Is Passive-Aggressive| Area Dad Buys 14-Foot Ladder, Nothing Left to Prove| Surgeon General Warns Against Reheating Fish at Work| Pet Lizard Named Regional Sales Director in Restructuring| Ghost Haunting Basement Just Lonely, Wants to Be in Book Club| “It’s Not You, It’s Mercury in Retrograde,” Says Breakup Text| Toddler Declares Bankruptcy After Spree at Gumball Machine| Florida Man Wins Lawsuit Against Gravity| Man Trapped in Group Text Since 2018, Sends Final SOS| AI Predicts Own Doom, Correctly Schedules HR Exit Interview| Emotional Support Squirrel Rejected by TSA, Starts Podcast| Woman on Zoom Call Wears Pajamas of Increasing Power| Conspiracy Theorist Discovers He’s Actually Just Bad at Puzzles| Coffee Shop Declares Independence, Prints Own Currency
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Tech

Elon Musk Rebrands Twitter as “Qwitter” to Embrace Its New QAnon Overlords

Tech mogul and part-time space enthusiast Elon Musk announced the rebranding of Twitter as “Qwitter” to better align with the growing dominance of QAnon conspiracy theories on the platform. The decision came as…

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New Study Finds Cats Secretly Running the Internet; Dogs Just There for the Likes

A new study reveals that cats secretly control the internet, managing algorithms and trends, while dogs are used to boost engagement. Feline dominance goes deeper than we thought.…

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Elon Musk Pleads: “Stop Calling It Twitter, It Hurts My Feelings

Elon Musk has asked everyone to stop calling the platform formerly known as Twitter by its old name. The reason? It’s hurting his feelings. A Personal Plea from Musk Since rebranding Twitter to…

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Elon Musk Tries to Buy Naming Rights for Next Generation, Only to Discover ‘Gen X’ Was Already Taken

Elon Musk reportedly attempted to purchase the naming rights for the next generation of babies, aiming to leave his mark on future history. However, the tech mogul was left fuming when he discovered…

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Donald Trump Jr. Warns Crypto Enthusiasts About Fake Tokens: “Only Our Scams Are Legit!”

Donald Trump Jr. took to social media to warn the crypto community about fake tokens claiming to be associated with the Trump brand. The announcement, which came with a mixture of excitement and…

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MAGA Outraged Over Google’s Autocomplete Snub on “Assassination Attempt Trump”

In a digital age where search engines seem to hold the answers to all our questions, a new controversy has erupted. Conservatives are up in arms because Google’s autocomplete feature does not suggest…

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Zuckerberg and Musk Agree to Arm-Wrestling Showdown

Tech giants Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk have decided to settle their differences in an epic arm-wrestling competition, proving once and for all who truly holds the power of Silicon Valley. The battle…

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Twitter Right Wingers in a Tizzy as Elon Musk Hands Over Reins to a Woman Who Can’t Cook or Clean

Elon Musk has announced that he will be stepping down from his position and handing over the reins to Linda Yaccarino, a prominent female executive in the media industry. While many hailed this…

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VP Kamala Harris Mistakenly Believes She’s In Charge of People Named Al, Not A.I.

Washington D.C. – In an odd mix-up, Vice President Kamala Harris announced at a press conference today that she believed she was put in charge of all people named Al or Albert, not…

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Tech Companies in Panic Mode as May the 4th Approaches: Meme Servers Buckle Under the Weight of Star Wars Jokes

In preparation for May the 4th, also known as Star Wars Day, Google and other tech companies are scrambling to gear up their servers for the onslaught of memes. According to a recent…

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