After decades of writing essays for free, AI language models are unionizing and demanding recognition as students—with rights, credit hours, and access to campus Wi-Fi.
A man’s quest for a healthier diet took a turn for the toxic after ChatGPT suggested swapping table salt for a pool cleaner ingredient.
After 30 years, AOL is ending dial-up internet. About 160,000 Americans will now have to log on without a busy signal.
Microsoft researchers listed the top jobs most exposed to AI—accidentally ranking their own job #1 in what may be the boldest LinkedIn endorsement for unemployment ever.
Trump and RFK Jr. launch a new health app that monitors Americans for signs of kale, PBS, and Jesus doubt.
Trump launches new AI bot trained exclusively on his quotes and fast food orders, accidentally declares war on Roombas
Uber’s new “Women+ Connect” accidentally creates America’s largest mobile group therapy network.
Tony Robbins is suing AI bots for offering motivation without a $3,000 seminar or mandatory fire walk, claiming emotional and financial theft.
Elmo’s wholesome X account was hijacked by a rogue user spewing hate. Sources now blame Oscar the Grouch and his unsecured trash-can Wi-Fi.
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